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issaxcharlie · 4 years ago

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Ghost Of You 2/2

Pairing: Ghost! Luke Patterson x Fem Reader

Summary: Luke, Reggie and Alex have to assimilate their loss. For Luke of his girlfriend, and for the others of their best friend after suddenly learning that she didn’t have the future they imagined, and instead died 23 years ago.

Thank you to @cookiebuba for being the head of the entire idea and trusting me with it, and to Emy for almost holding my hand to force me to write🤣💜

PART 1 HERE

“It can’t be.”

“Luke, I-”

"No, Julie. You are not telling me that the woman of my life, the purest person who has ever stepped on this world, not only lost her partner and her best friends, but was only able to live her life for two more years and then ended in a horrible accident. It's as if life wanted to torture her before taking her too.”

“Love of ?... Zeppelin shirt you wore when you ran away. Of course.”

“I- It can’t be true, please tell me it’s not true, Julie.”

“Luke... she loved you so much.”

He falls on the floor. The impact is strong, as if his legs have stopped working.

"I know." He whispers slowly, his gaze empty as multiple tears fall from his eyes.

The rest of the gang threw themselves to the ground around him and hugged him with all their might, trying to unite his broken pieces without any success. Alex and Reggie each crying silently over the loss of their sweet friend.

“What day did she pass away? Alex whispers.

"Let me search, one moment." Julie gets up quickly and checks on her laptop to find a little note about the singer's death.

"The rising singer Y/N Y/L who had just released the biggest hit of her career passed away this afternoon in a terrible car accident after leaving the cemetery where her late boyfriend, Luke Patterson, was buried. Y/L was there in commemoration of the 2 years of the loss of the aspiring musician, who died from a sudden tragic intoxication along with the rest of his band. Something to rescue from this tragedy is that at least she's already reunited with her eternal love. May both rest in peace.”

“This can’t be. My Y/N can’t be gone. Not her, not like that.” Luke is still in denial, unable to believe that his little girl suffered such a terrible ending.

“Maybe she’s not. There's still a chance that she's also a ghost.”

“Yeah, Julie’s right. We need to look out for her, we can't write her off without trying to find her first.” Reggie's eyes sparkle with hope, rushing to cover Alex's mouth in case he says anything other than motivating.

Luke takes his flannel and disappears immediately. Both Reggie and Alex stare sadly at Julie who simply whispers a "go, he needs you." They nod and teleport to their friend.

As expected, Luke is in front of the window of an old music store. He met his girlfriend here so many years ago, the day his parents agreed to buy him his first guitar.

The store had a small section where customers could try out some instruments and she was playing the guitar they had there and singing for the small audience. It seemed like it was something she did often because both the workers and certain customers seemed familiar with the girl.

Luke was captivated by her from the first moment. The energy and passion that radiated from her in every move was unreal. He had never seen anyone happier, much less singing with a borrowed guitar from a small downtown store.

The store is completely abandoned, so without saying anything he comes in and walks towards the small stage.

The ghosts of two 12-year-old kids singing together into the microphone invades his memory. If they only knew.

"Do you remember what was the first thing she said to you?" Reggie and Alex sit next to him on the floor, looking straight at the very small stage. They both try to imagine what their friends must have looked like singing here together the first time. Luke totally invading little Y/N's presentation trying to captivate her with his 0% music experience and 100% of enthusiasm.

Luke laughs through tears. "You have the voice of a country singer."

Alex starts crying when he imagines her. He met her just a few weeks later so he knows exactly how she must have looked and sound.

Reggie smiles while shedding a tear, remembering all those afternoons Y/N convinced Luke to join them in their country sessions. He knows that's why Luke hasn't wanted to know anything about country or his songs since they got back. They remind him of his sweet girl.

“I was so offended. I still didn't know anything about music but I had already decided that I would be a rocker. If I hadn't already been so dazzled by her I would have left without looking back.”

“And what did you answer to defend your honor?”

"You think so?" The three of them start laughing while still crying. A heartbreaking mix of pain comes from their chests.

“C’mon guys, next stop.”

The three of them were teletransporting around the city during the day without any success. Luke's desperation increasing for every place the songwriter wasn't.

At night the three decide to go back to the studio. Luke is heartbroken, bloated after crying all day, eyes red and sore, and whatever it was that was driving him to continue, off.

His friends couldn't do much for him either because each was living the loss in their own way, concentrating on living their own pain until they could process it.

Julie wraps them in blankets on the couch and tries to fill them with love, making sure to hug Luke tightly, who seems about to fall apart.

“Does anyone want to talk about her? Maybe it could make you feel better.”

“She was my entire soul, the words and melody in each of my songs. I just, I love her more than anything in this world. I would give anything for her. My guitar, my voice, my songs, whatever it took for us to be together. I know it doesn't seem like it at this point, but we belong together.”

“We know you do, man.”

“I didn't tell you but I dream about her almost every night since we got back. It is always the same dream. She is in bed, leaving my side intact. She's wearing one of my shirts and hugging my favorite one while sobbing. She falls asleep listening to the ballad I wrote for her soaked in tears and no matter how hard I try to wake her up, I can't get her to see or hear me. I can’t get her. After a few minutes she gets up still asleep and begins to dance as we did so many times, but alone. Then she stops and starts crying again inconsolably. And that's when I wake up."

"I'm so sorry, Luke. She deserved so much more." Reggie walks over to hug him, his head resting on his arm while he sobs.

“We couldn't even say goodbye to her.” Alex cries, his eyes completely red.

“We already know that she visited your graves, perhaps we could do the same, dedicate a few words to her.” Julie offers in an attempt to help them find some peace.

Luke looks devastated, but he nods his head as tears continue to fall from his face, the ring that his girlfriend gave him going in and out of his finger. Alex hugs Julie while she strokes his hair in an effort to calm him down and Reggie runs up to get a notebook and pencil to start planning what to say to his best friend tomorrow.

The three of them hang around all night, crying, writing, hugging, remembering the spark of Sunset Curve. In the morning before going to visit her, they realize is exactly the 25th anniversary of that tragic night that changed the lives of the four forever. Luke nearly punches a hole in the wall upon hearing the sad coincidence.

Her grave is right next to Luke's, who has never been here before and can't help but feel a bit anxious.

“Don’t worry, I’ll start.” Reggie tells the guitarist as he takes a step forward, a small smile on his lips.

"Hello, princess. Long time, huh? I'm Reggie, by the way. In case you don't recognize me from the slight change in my hair. I am trying a little more gel, I want something more elegant and classic. What do you think? Yes, I also thought you would like it.” Julie and Alex smile at hearing him talk to her as natural as possible.

“I tried very hard to think of what to say, because if there is anyone who deserves my best words, it is you. And three things came to mind that I want to share with you.

First, the color yellow.

Yellow like the guitar you were saving for two years to buy. You did everything. You were a babysitter, you walked dogs, you worked in the school library, you sang with your old acoustic guitar in every cafe, basically everything that will let you win some money.

And the day before you could finally go buy it, my dad broke my bass in a moment of anger in one of his typical fights with mom that got really out of hand. At least he didn’t hurt her, huh? But when you're a kid you don't even think about the possibility that something like that could happen, you just focus on the broken instrument in your hand. I ran out and ended up on the stairs of your house with my face soaked and one of the broken pieces in my hand.

You hugged me and promised that everything would be fine. That I was always going to have you four and that we would always be family. You assured me that good things happen to good people. And I believed you, you know? You were always right. But now that I'm here, that I know you didn't have the happy ending you deserved, I'm honestly not so sure anymore.”

Luke and Alex start crying again, each hugging Reggie from one side. Reg tries with all his might to continue through the tears, while Julie looks at them with a broken heart.

“The next day when I came back from school a new bass was on my bed. You talked to Mom so she could take the credit for the gift, but coincidentally was exactly the bass that I fell in love with a year earlier when we went to check if your beloved yellow guitar hadn't dropped in price. Luke revealed to me a few months later that you had to borrow money from your mom in order to complete the exact money for that one.

How generous do you have to be in order to do something like that? how noble? How loving? How selfless? You were always more than I deserved. I was supposed to be like an older brother for you, but it was always you who took care of me. I have Julie and Carlos, and I'm trying to be with them as you were with me. I had the best step sister in the world to teach me, and I hope I can do you justice.” Julie starts crying too after hearing his words, and resists the urge to going to hug him because she knows that they need their space to let go all the suffering that they carry.

“Second, my leather jacket.

When we started the band we made a 100% commitment to being rockstars. And a very important part is the look. You accompanied me on a walk around the city looking for the right outfit to literally go sing to the people who were lining up in front of the clubs.

Anyone could have left me alone on that for multiple reasons, not even these two wanted to face the trouble. But you followed me without thinking twice.

The afternoon was over and we still haven't found anything. Our feet couldn't take it anymore and we had 10 minutes to run to the club. But we stopped by a little store that had a black leather jacket in the window and you said, Reg, this is it.

You excitedly took me by the hand and when I tried it on, the rest was history.

Then I tried to get the whole band to use them but these two boys without fashion sense didn’t want to. You, on the other hand, supported me and wore your leather jacket during all the Sunset Curve performances we had, convincing me that they were our good luck charms and that if we both used them everything would be amazing. Oh god, I miss you so much.

And third, a star.

I thought you were a star when I heard you sing for the first time.

I thought you were a star when you and Luke managed to write the whole Sunset Curve album in 2 months.

I thought you were a star when you bought me my bass, when you made Alex feel better after one of his strongest attacks, when you filled Luke with love and support when he needed it the most.

And I believe it now that I know you are gone.

If you are in heaven, you have to be a star. And not just a star, the brightest star of all. I promise to look for your light every night to wish you sweet dreams. I will also sing you some country since you were the only one who appreciated my incredible sound, I hope it makes you smile.”

“That was beautiful, Reggie. I’m sure she loved it.” Julie finally reaches out to hug him as Alex prepares to be next.

“Hey. I don’t even know where to start.

I- I guess I should start saying I could never pay you all the times you were there to pick me up when I needed someone the most. I went back to dancing a little again. It's not the same without you, but somehow it makes me feel you close. I also met someone, oh Y/N, he’s so special, I'm sure you would have loved him and I would have loved the opportunity to introduce him to you. You were always there.

You were there to support me when I decided to learn drums to cope with my anxiety. You sang the song I was practicing over and over to keep me company and reassure me that what I was doing sounded good.

You were there to support me when I told you I like to dance. We spent hours choreographing different iconic songs and just laughing and enjoying creating more memories together.

Not shocking at this point but you were also there for me when I confessed to my parents I’m gay and you gave me strength all those times that I wanted to fall because they no longer saw me the same way.

You were always my safe place. And I regret with all my heart that I couldn’t be yours.”

Alex breaks down. She kept them on their feet during her darkest days and they paid her off by causing her the most horrible pain imaginable. Julie and Reggie surround her in their arms while sobbing. The last one of the band standing moves closer to the grave and drops to his knees.

“I’m so sorry, my love. I’m so fucking sorry.” Luke tries to be strong, but tears start falling like waterfalls from his eyes, his face red in a mixture of despair, sadness and anger.

“I will never forgive myself for leaving you alone. Baby, I've been without you for only 1 month and I’m going crazy, even with the boys and Julie by my side. I don't even want to imagine what you must have been through those two years. My soul is shattered just thinking about it.

At first when we returned I imagined you were happy after having fulfilled all our plans with someone else. And I thought nothing could hurt me more than that, but obviously I was wrong. Because although it hurt me that I couldn’t be the one who was with you, thinking that you had been happy gave me the peace to be able to continue. Now that I know that life took away your opportunity, the only thing I feel is anger.

Anger towards me, anger towards destiny. Anger at not being able to be together even after death. Since we discovered where you are, I have only been able to think of cross over and finally be with you again.

Or at least go back to the night before everything turned into a nightmare. Fall asleep with you in my arms one more time.

I swear I even miss your snoring and you biting my cheek after your goodnight kiss, as you would say, in a gesture of love.”

“Hello again, my love.

I can't believe 25 years have passed. First of all, I want you to know that I'm okay. Or well, the equivalent for ghosts that are destined to haunt the earth alone for all eternity. I made a friend for several years, Rose. I told you about her, remember? I know you guys would have been good friends, she was a ridiculously talented musician. Since she died I no longer had the strength to go back to the studio, but for a long time I enjoyed her company in one of my favorite places. She promised to tell you that I'm waiting for you. I will wait whatever time is necessary, okay? I love you so much, baby.

You three are always on my mind, and I think I can finally accept that the pain is just never going to go away. But lately something super strange has happened to me, let me tell you.

Throughout these years, in the darkest days, I see you. But, they were always memories.

A month ago, I started to see you having other kinds of experiences and I honestly don't know how to feel about it. Am I going that crazy? I selfishly hoped that you too were ghosts for so many years. I looked for you 5, 10, 15, 20 years. And just as I decide to give up, my head imagines you all over the city.

The first time I saw you singing Reggie's jam on the beach. You guys looked so happy, love. It filled my heart with peace for a few seconds, knowing that somewhere up there you are enjoying life singing together all day.

Then I saw my beloved Alex with a cute boy. My heart melted, I can’t even explain how much I wanted to run to hug him and gossip about it.

Baby, he looked so peaceful. I always wanted that for Alex. I didn't know whether to be happy or cry because that didn’t actually happen, so I did both.

The penultimate time was a few nights ago when I was walking in front of the Orpheum and I heard your voices. How wicked my mind is, right? A knife to the heart would hurt less.

And now, I can't even get close to your grave because I'm imagining you all again.”

Y/N doesn't know what to do, if she gets close enough will they disappear? What If they don’t? Will she bear to see them up close? She has been dancing with their ghosts in her dreams for so many years, but It’s not the same as doing it when she is fully awake.

She is about to run out of there in fear when the silhouette of a fourth person catches her attention. She doesn't know why, but it immediately reminds her of Rose. Could it be that she is imagining her friend too?

Curiosity is stronger than fear, like all those times when she got into trouble with her boys. She walks carefully towards her grave which is next to her beloved Luke.

“I swear I even miss your snoring and you biting my cheek after your goodnight kiss as you would say, in a gesture of love.”

“I don't freaking snore, I told you a million times already... and now I'm talking with my imagination, great.”

The band turns in shock towards the fifth voice. That's when she can see the girl's face and realize who she is.

“Julie? But, how?”

“Y/N?” Alex whispers on the verge of passing out.

She starts to panic, just before the boys can do something about it, a new person appears behind her.

“Hey, you took a long time." She turns around and jumps into the arms of who has become her only friend in recent years.

“Phoenix, thank god.” Her body continues to shake but she clings tightly to her friend while crying uncontrollably.

To say the ghosts are confused would be an understatement. And apart from that, the guitarist is having many conflicts with the jealousy that he is feeling at the moment. They haven't seen each other in 25 years and when they finally do, she runs into someone else's arms and clings to him like her life depends on it.

What does that mean for them? Is it too late?

“Beautiful, what's wrong? Who are they? Oh, wait. You guys were at the club a few weeks ago, you're friends with Willie, right?”

Luke feels like dying all over again hearing him call her that. She continues to shake but finally lets go.

“What? You can see them?”

“Shouldn’t I?” He looks at her skeptical and shifts his eyes from her to the ghosts.

“I- Oh my god. I'm going to pass out.“

“Baby, look at me.” Luke’s voice is a mix between a plea and a demand. The terror of knowing that perhaps he has already lost her without having had the opportunity to fight for her clouds his judgment and tears begin to fall from his face again.

25 years. 25 years fighting not to forget his voice. 25 years having him only in dreams, in memories, in melodies. 25 years waiting for him. 25 years on her own.

She turns slowly to meet those honey-green eyes she craved for so long to see, a painful smile from Luke makes her smile through tears.

She carefully lifts her right hand and gently draws it to his cheek, almost exploding at the feel of it.

“You came back. Oh my, It’s really you.” She jumps to the guitarist, entwining her legs at his hips, her arms tangled with all her strength around him, her head buried in his neck inhaling his scent. Tears coming out as if to drown her, all the pain and suffering that she faced all these years finally leaving her body.

Luke wraps her tightly in his arms, still unable to process what’s happening.

Alex and Reggie begin to smile without fully assimilating what is happening, while Julie begins to jump of joy.

“Babygirl, I'm sorry to ruin the moment but I have to rush to the club. Will you be okay here?"

“She's always safe with me." The guitarist growls, and Y/N starts laughing when she hears it.

"The jealous, protective baby in the beanie is right, don't worry Nix. I’ll go and find you later."

Phoenix nods with a smile and disappears. Julie begins to scold Luke while Reggie and Alex approach to touch the cheek of their best friend, still in the arms of the guitarist who does not seem to have any intention of letting go.

“We should go home to catch up. Reggie and I will accompany Julie, it seems that you two should speak alone first." Luke doesn't think twice and disappears with her in his arms.

“Good things happen to good people.” Reggie whispers as he hugs his friends and they start walking home.

Luke and Y/N reappear in the studio and they are both shocked for a few seconds. The girl trembles again in fear of dreaming.

“Hey, come here baby. Shh, I’m here, I promise.”

“Don’t leave me ever again, please.” He can see that it is very difficult for her to understand that is really happening, and to think that she lived without him not 2 but 25 years makes him want to cry again.

“I won’t. I promise, beautiful. Never again.” Luke wraps her in his arms, but she lifts her head from his chest to push her lips against his. The kiss is urgent, but they both instantly recognize each other and fit in perfectly. Luke picks her up again and gently lays her down on the couch, both desperate to feel the other, to recognize every inch.

“I missed you so much baby, I love you more than anything.” Luke whispers between kisses, not willing to have her an inch away from him.

“I love you my love. I love you, I love you, I love you.” She says while kissing the love of her life, happy for the first time in 25 years.

Before things get to escalate, the rest of the band shows up in the studio followed by Julie who clearly walks through the door.

"Let go of her man, it's our turn!" Y/N gets up quickly from the sofa while her boyfriend complains and she throws herself at both of them who pick her up as best they can and spin her in the air.

They put her down and Julie and her stare each other, both raise their arms and meet in a quick but sweet hug.

“You said my name back there, how?” The question that she has stuck since she met her finally coming to light.

“I met your mom many years ago when I came to visit the studio and realized that she could see me. We were friends for many years and I had the opportunity to see you grow up, but I always made sure to be upstairs when you came in in case you could see me too.”

“Well, now I understand how Carlos felt when he found out that we lived with ghosts. And It sounds like mom watches over us both from heaven.”

“Yeah, I’m sure she does.” Both girls smile and hug each other once more.

“I can't believe I endured 25 years without having those beautiful arms around me.” She whispers as they both lie on the couch, Luke has her completely cornered in his arms.

“I’m so sorry, baby. It breaks my heart that you have suffered that much for so many years.”

“It was not your fault. You lost as much as I did that night. Besides, I always knew that you would find me sooner or later. We belong together.”

“We do. I, I k-know we have way more to talk about but, who was the dude from the cementery?”

The insecurity in his voice is evident and Y/N can't help but smile. His emotions are complex, real, and nothing can make her happier than that.

“I’ll tell you all about my friend later, okay? For now... dance with me? I want to dance with the real deal.” He smiles and they both stand up, hugging each other as they slowly move through the studio as they did many times before life separated them.

The Luke in her arms is her Luke, the same one she has been waiting for so many years, finally back in her arms. And just as she thought when she lived, she will dance with his ghost for all eternity.

Thank you for reading✨✨

Taglist: @writerinlearning, @ghostofmgg @strangerthanfanfiction713, @thebloodthirstyvampress, @kinda-really-lost, @kcd15, @magnet-girl, @aliandthephantoms, @stxrkspidey, @pinkrockstar19, @s0uz4s, @shycupcakealissa @cookiebuba, @fangirlangioma, @sageellsworth05, @twist3dtinkerbell, @sunsetcurvenotsunsetswerve, @caitsymichelle13, @ifilwtmfc, @luckylouiebug, @bibliophilewednesday, @totomoshi, @siennanoelle01, @lunashadow6955, @bookfrog247, @morganayennefertyrell, @kiss-themoongoodbye, @rachelle3musicals, @imsydneywalker, @really-dont-forget-it @agentstarkid @talksoprettyjjx @kaitieskidmore1 @lukeys-giggle @katie-navarro @crybabyddl @cocopuffs0211 @marvel-ousnesss @blackhood5sos @tessxblxckthorn

Goy tags: @eternalharry @xplrreylo

#luke patterson imagine #luke patterson fanfic #luke patterson x y/n #luke patterson x reader #luke patterson imagines #luke patterson fic #jatp imagine #charlie gillespie fic #charlie gillespie x y/n #charlie gillespie imagines #jatp luke

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waywardnerd67 · 3 years ago

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Star Crossed: Brightest Star

Summary: Life on tour was stressful and (Y/N) (Y/L/N) enjoyed the quiet moments on her tour bus with her best friend traveling between cities. After a show one night, she discovers her BFF recorded her fangirling over her favorite actor and posted it online. In a single moment, her life changes forever. Pairing: No Pairing Rating: E - Everyone Warnings: Fluff Word Count: 1201 A/N: None

Check out: Star Crossed Masterlist

The crowd was deafening as Wayward Stars stood center stage and bowed. Her bandmates pushed (Y/N) (Y/L/N) forward joining in on the cheering. She smiled brightly, waved and took a bow. She could see the first ten rows of people that were sweating and red faced from rocking out with them. Never did a night go by that she was not eternally grateful for the life she was able to live.

Walking off stage, the other bands they were touring with greeted them around the large green room. Her best friend, Addy Pearson, was chatting it up with a guitarist from The Letter Scarlett. (Y/N) rolled her eyes at her before heading towards the buffet of food and drinks. By passing all the alcohol, she grabbed a bottle of water and a handful of grapes.

“I think I’m in love.” Addy said, wrapping her arms around (Y/N)’s waist.

“You say that about every guy you lock eyes onto. However, Benny is actually a good guy so I would approve of this one.”

Addy laughed while grabbing a beer, “We have a couple of days before we hit the next city, right?”

She nodded, “Thankfully. My body is sore and in need of some R&R. Are you joining me on my bus or sneaking off with your newest boy toy?”

Her best friend kissed her cheek, “See you in the morning.”

“Yeah, yeah…” She watched Addy skip back to the latest notch to be added to her belt.

Honestly, she was thankful that she would have her bus all to herself. A night alone with her favorite show and junk food was exactly what she needed. Waving goodbye to her tour mates, she asked one of the bodyguards to come with her and went out to meet some fans standing near the buses. It was one thing she could do as a thank you to the fans who spent their money on seeing her. She wanted to make sure they knew how much she appreciated them.

After a few dozen hugs, selfies and autographs she finally made it to her bus. Stripping off her sweaty, nasty clothes she got into her favorite pj shorts and Zeppelin shirt. Grabbing some leftover pizza from the night before and her favorite gift from a fan. (Y/N) settled into her bunk and started up the last episode of Supernatural she had been watching.

“Dean Bear, this is the episode you were inspired from.” She whispered.

She snuggled with the Build-A-Bear that was made to look like Dean Winchester with glasses. Snapping a quick picture of her teddy bear and posting it on her Instagram.

Towards the end of the episode, she felt her bus roar to life and soon started to move. That is when a notification popped up on her phone.

Heart racing, she pulled up the video forgetting that there was a Supernatural convention going on this weekend. One day, she was going to be able to schedule a weekend for her to go. For now, she was thankful for fans that were there for sharing their videos online. (Y/N) let out a squeal reading the title of the video.

VanCon SNS - Jensen Ackles Heaven & S.O.B.

Clicking play, she turned the volume up on her phone. Letting out a breathless sigh, watching him walk onto stage wearing black boots, tight jeans, simple black t-shirt and dark cowboy hat.

“Good god…” she murmured.

The first notes of Bryan Adams “Heaven” began to play and (Y/N) literally melted in her spot. His beautiful baritone voice made her heart skip. He commanded the stage and audience, captivating everyone’s attention.

“Oh no… you’re watching Jensen Ackles videos again.”

She looked up seeing Addy walking to her bunk pressing pause on her video, “What happened to Benny?”

She shrugged silently, flopping down onto her bed, “I obviously mixed up the signals being sent my way. It’s fine now I can lay here and make fun of your obsession with Jensen.”

(Y/N) stuck out her tongue, hitting play, “You show me a man with more talent and hotter than him then I will stop obsessing over him.”

The next song he sang was one of her favorites. The man was made to be a rockstar from his voice, playing guitar and the way he moved his body. What she would not give to see him perform live.

“You’re drooling…”

(Y/N) rolled her eyes without looking from her screen, “I can’t help it. He’s gorgeous and talented and the perfect man.” She threw her arm over her eyes dramatically pretending to faint.

Addy laughed at her but let her finish fangirling without further comments. The rest of the night she spent watching Supernatural finally falling asleep to dream of the handsome green eyed rockstar.

A couple of days later, she was sitting in her bunk before a show when she heard Addy having a heated conversation with her manager. Rolling out of her bunk, she walked to the front of the bus seeing her best friend rolling her eyes and her manager’s bright red face.

“What’s going on?”

“Ask your friend what she did.” Her manager stormed off the bus.

She turned towards her friend who was shrugging nonchalantly, “I get what the big deal is. I mean it’s nothing embarrassing or anything.”

“Addyson Marie Pearson, what did you do?” Panic flooded her stomach seeing Addy pulling out her phone.

A million thoughts ran through her mind. Did she post a picture of them from their wild days of concerts and after parties? Did she mouth off to one of the haters on social media again?

She handed (Y/N) her phone to a Tweet she posted tagging her in it. There was a link to a YouTube video and her stomach sank. Pressing the link it was a short video of her in her bunker from a few days earlier. She was singing along with Jensen Ackles smiling from ear to ear staring longingly at him.

“You’re drooling…” She heard Addy say from behind the camera.

She watched herself roll her eyes without looking from the screen, “I can’t help it. He’s gorgeous and talented and the perfect man.” She threw her arm over her eyes dramatically pretending to faint.

Text flashed on the screen, “#1 Jensen Ackles Fangirl”

The video already had thousands of views. The tweet had been reblogged over a hundred times. (Y/N) looked up, jaw slacked at her giggling best friend.

“Jesus Addy… why?” she asked, handing the phone back and putting her head in her hands.

“I thought it was cute and you’re fans love seeing candid moments like this. Who knows, maybe Mr. Ackles will see it and fall in love with you.”

Her head snapped up, “Oh god… I really hope he never sees that. I mean really what are the chances of that happening?”

Both their phones went off at the same time. They looked at one another before looking at their phones.

“Ho-ly crap…” (Y/N) whispered, pulling up the Twitter notification.

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wayward-dreamer · 4 years ago

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Life’s Lessons - Part 5

Title: Life’s Lessons - A Lesson in Not Giving In (Almost)

Pairing: Mechanic!Dean x Female!Teacher!Reader (eventual)

Other Pairings: Dean x Lisa, Female!Reader x OMC – Ethan (past, mentioned)

Word Count: 7,508 (thoughts, song lyrics in italics)

Part Summary: Y/N gets her car back, bringing stability back to her routine. As Friday night rolls around, Dean’s plans with Lisa get derailed as she goes out with her friends. Dean asks Y/N over, resulting in a night of laughs, stories of the past, and something between them that they can’t keep denying.

Warnings: Swearing, Talk of past family issues, Mention of reader’s ex, Talk of mental abuse, Neglect, Insecurities, Alcohol Consumption, Dean being cute (yes, that’s a warning), Flirting, Forbidden feelings, Moment of weakness (you’ll see what I mean, I don’t want to spoil it)

Music: Renegade by Styx (Dean cooking scene), What Is and What Should Never Be by Led Zeppelin (Dean and Y/N end scene).

Life’s Lessons Spotify Playlist

A/N: Thank you to everyone for all the love towards this series! It’s been amazing to hear all of your thoughts! We’re really getting into it now, and I just hope you’ll enjoy the journey of these characters. I can’t wait to hear what you all think! Happy reading and enjoy! :)

Dividers by the wonderful @firefly-graphics! Check her out for all your AU needs!!!

Life's Lessons Masterlist

The next couple of days flew by, and before she knew it, it was Wednesday. Y/N was happy to be getting her car back, her life becoming easier again, especially with school. Her classes had been keeping her busy, grading tests and making sure the homework was done. All of her students but a couple were doing well, and she knew she would have to talk to the parents as she soon as they had time to meet. Things remained awkward with Ben, who would never really say much, except for a few sentences each class.

She knew it was hard with her being his teacher and living across the street but given the size of this town it was hard not to see people constantly. The only thing that could be done and what she had been practicing, was not talking about him or to him outside of a school setting.

Cas had brought Y/N into the garage again, once classes were over on Wednesday. Though this time he couldn’t stay, wanting to meet Meg before she started her shift at the hospital. Y/N walked in and was greeted by the receptionist this time, an elder woman.

“Hi, I’m Ellen, what can I help you with?” she asked, a smile on her face.

“Hi, I’m here to pick up my car. I’m Y/N Y/L/N” she told the woman. She had a pleasant demeanor, but Y/N had the feeling she could really get mad of you pissed her off.

“Oh, so you’re Y/N!” she beamed. “Dean’s been talkin’ about ya non-stop. Just making sure he does everything right and on time.”

Y/N felt her cheeks heat up. “Well, that’s nice of him.” Dean had been talking about her to his friends and co-workers? She suddenly felt a little strange to be the centre of attention.

Just as Ellen was about to speak, the door to the men’s room in the reception area opened, and Benny walked out, this time without any car grease on him. He was looking sharp as he was a little dressed up.

“Hey, cher” he smiled, as he enveloped in a hug. She liked him and it was easy to see why he and Dean got along. Benny was mild mannered despite his intimidating build, and he clearly loved the work as much as his green-eyed friend.

“Hey, Benny. You clean up well” she complemented him, taking in his crisp white shirt and black pants.

“Thanks, darlin’. My girlfriend, Andrea’s coming back from visiting family in Greece, so I’m headed to the airport” he told her, a big smile on his bearded face.

“Oh, wow!” she gasped. “That would’ve been amazing!”

“Yeah, she had a great time. I can’t wait to see her” Benny smiled, giddily. “Dean’s just bringing your car around.”

“Great” she breathed out. “Well, have a wonderful time with Andrea.”

“I will, and you know when things are more settled for ya, you should come over for dinner” Benny said, genuinely.

“I’d love that” she smiled.

“Take care, cher” he said, as he winked and walked away.

“Bye, Benny” she called out as she watched him leave through the front door.

Y/N watched through the windows as Benny waited to the side, as her car pulled up. She smiled as she watched Dean get out, wearing his aviators and blue and black plaid. Was there ever a time he wouldn’t look so damn breathtaking? The man was a walking sculpture. She watched as Benny walked off to his car, and Dean walked towards the front door. She smiled at him as he saw her and smirked, opened the door and took off his sunglasses. She looked amazing in her maroon A-line skirt and white top, with a fawn coat. Dean couldn’t help but admire her. She could wear a paper bag and still look stunning.

“Hey” he said, with the widest grin on his face. “Come on.”

He held out his hand and without a second thought, she clasped it with hers. Both of them had the same thought of how perfectly their hands fit together, but quickly pushed it aside. He led her outside and over to her car.

“Here she is” he said, dropping her hand, much to Y/N’s dismay. “Get in and turn the car on.” He tossed her the keys which she caught perfectly.

Y/N quickly got in the front seat and smiled, half excited and half nervous. She dropped her bag in the passenger seat, turned the key in the ignition, and heard it turn on. This time without any hideous sounds.

“Woooo!” he cheered with a laugh.

She laughed as she shook her head. He was crazy, but she loved how much he loved his work. She turned the car back off just as he came around to her side. She got out and automatically wrapped her arms around his neck, in a hug. He pulled her close, his arms around her waist, as he swayed them side to side. He chuckled, the rumble in his chest vibrating through her.

“Thank you so, so much, Dean” she whispered.

“No need to thank me, sweetheart” he whispered back.

The hug lasted a little longer than they had intended, and she quickly pulled away before they could overthink the gesture.

“I got to get home” she said, not really wanting to leave but knowing she had to.

“Yeah” he nodded, trying not to sound disappointed. “Come and find me if something happens, again, but you’re definitely good to go.”

“I’m sure I won’t have to” she said, as she sat back in her seat. Dean closed the door for her but leaned into the open window.

“See you around, sweetheart” he winked.

“Bye” she muttered, trying not to look flustered by his charm. Cut it out, woman! She scolded herself as she pulled out of the garage parking, and turned her car in the direction of home.

Friday night quickly around again. Ben was staying at a friend’s house, which gave Dean the perfect opportunity to cook dinner for Lisa. With Styx Renegade playing on the record player and the sauce for the lasanga simmering on the stove, he started mixing ingredients for dessert as the front door opened. Lisa walked in from having dropped Ben off and eyed him incredulously.

“What’re you doing?” she asked, leaning into the kitchen island.

“With the kid away for the night, I thought this was a good night to stay in and cook” he smirked, genuinely. “Have some alone time.”

She sighed heavily, shaking her head. “I can’t. I’m going out with the girls.”

He frowned, trying not to roll his eyes. “Can’t you go out with them some other time? I mean, you’re always out with them. I thought we could have a night to ourselves for once.”

“They’re my friends, Dean” she chastised him. “I don’t stop you from going out with your friends.”

She walked down the hall and into the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

An hour later, Lisa left the house with a slam of the door. Dean made up the lasanga and put it in the oven, but what was the point of eating it by himself? Now he didn’t even feel like eating it, wanting to order in pizza instead and threw back a few beers. As he started to dial the pizza place, he stopped. He looked up and out of the window in the kitchen. He smiled as an idea came to him.

Y/N was thankful for this Friday night to herself. She was going to call Katie and then watch a couple episodes of The Walking Dead which she had recorded, and get a pizza delivered. She made plans for Saturday to go watch a movie and have lunch with Charlie. She had asked for Meg’s number from Cas to invite her, but she was unfortunately working at the hospital. She promised to come to whatever the next thing would be, though, and Y/N was excited to meet her soon enough.

Just as she was about to sit down and call Katie, the doorbell rang a few times. Y/N frowned, wondering who could ring so urgently and hurried to the door. She swung it open and smiled as she saw Dean on the other side, looking flustered. The dark green shirt he was wearing was crumpled, and there was red and white checked dish cloth on his shoulder, which he probably hadn’t noticed.

“Please tell me you’re not doing anything tonight” he said, quickly, his hands rubbing over each other, nervously.

“Uh, no. I mean, I had a date with my DVR, but that’s about it” she said, shaking her head.

“Okay, well… if you want, I’d love to have you over to dinner. Ben’s at a friend’s for the night, Lisa couldn’t cancel her plans with friends when I asked her to stay for dinner, and I don’t want it to go to waste” he told her, a hopeful look on his face.

She smiled, not even thinking twice about it. “I’d love to.”

He pumped his fist, as he smiled wide. “You’re the best. Okay. In half an hour?”

“Absolutely” she nodded, his smile infectious as she found herself smiling too.

“Ah! Thank you!” he shouted happily, as he quickly leaned in and pecked her cheek. “See you soon!”

He quickly ran off back to his house, clearly not realizing what he just did.

Y/N shut the door, not being able to stop herself from smiling. She was trying to tread lightly but it was too hard. When he kept being the amazing human that he was, how could she? She knew she needed to call Katie as she got ready to go over there. She would set her straight.

She walked into her bedroom and opened up her closet, trying to figure what to wear. Considering the weather was starting to turn, a sweater and jeans would be most appropriate. She tossed the clothes on the bed and then stripped off, walking into her bathroom. She wanted to freshen up quickly after a long day at work. As she turned the shower on and then stepped in, she clipped her hair up to save it from the water. As she moved her body under the water, her mind wandered to Dean. She hated the idea of him trying to work things out with Lisa and her leaving him hanging. Did she care about him at all? Why stick around in a relationship that isn’t going anywhere? Did they even have their good days anymore? Having been in a bad relationship herself, she knew what it could do to your mind, and she hated to think that Dean was going through something awful by being in relationship that absolutely was not going anywhere.

She quickly lathered up, her mind still on Dean. These feelings of attraction weren’t new to her, but this was the first time they had been so intense. His face was somehow rugged and yet beautiful, his body was hard but his touch soft. Her eyes closed as her mind continued to wander, her hand moving down between her thighs. She rubbed her hand over her mound, the water cascading down on her only serving to make her wetter than she already was. Before she could continue, however, her mind quickly snapped out of the images of him. She moved her hand away, feeling guilty that she did what she did, but glad that she stopped before she went any further.

She turned off the shower and stepped out, wiping down. She quickly got dressed into what she was going to wear for dinner, and then dialled Katie’s number. She picked up on the second ring, her cheery voice on loudspeaker.

“Hey!”

“Hey, how are you?” she asked her friend.

“I’m great, but… you don’t sound so good” Katie replied, her voice full of concern for Y/N.

“Well, I’m about to head over to Dean’s for dinner. Just me and him” Y/N said, sighing.

“And you’re broken up about it because he’s still with his girlfriend? Right?” Katie asked, accurately assisting the situation.

“Bingo” Y/N replied.

She heard Katie breathe out deeply. “Y/N.”

“In my defence, he asked me because his girlfriend couldn’t cancel her plans with friends, and he didn’t want dinner to go to waste. I couldn’t say no” Y/N quickly explained.

There was a pause in conversation; Y/N knew that Katie was thinking.

“Look, there’s nothing wrong with going over there, as a friend and having a good time” Katie reassured her. “Just… be careful.”

I will” Y/N nodded. She glanced at the clock and saw that she should leave. “I should go.”

“Okay, keep me posted” Katie said.

“I will. Sorry we couldn’t talk for longer” Y/N apologized.

“It’s okay, we can make up for it soon” Katie said, simply.

“Definitely” Y/N agreed.

They said their goodbyes and hung up. Y/N quickly fixed her hair into more of a natural look, sweeping it off to the side. She put on her chocolate brown knee high heeled boots, sprayed some perfume on, and picked her phone as she left the house.

Y/N walked across the street, fidgeting with the neckline of her black sweater. She kept trying to pull it up over her shoulders, but the sleeves kept slipping down to rest almost off-shoulder. There was no point battling with it to do something it clearly couldn’t, so she left the neckline alone. Her Y/H/C hair was resting over shoulder, exposing the other. She had a split second of realizing that maybe she shouldn’t have worn it like that or the sweater, but it was too late now.

She walked up the porch steps and rang the doorbell. She was nervous to be alone with him, but she couldn’t help but feel a little excited too. It was alone time with Dean, and as much as she wanted it to be more, it was just two friends having dinner together. That’s it. It couldn’t be more. She wouldn’t let it be more. She waited patiently, but a breath caught in her throat when the door opened.

Dean had changed for dinner and was standing there in a dark grey Henley and dark blue jeans, looking like a freaking model. Dear god, give me strength she thought as she smiled at him, admiring the way the Henley clung to his muscles.

“Hey, come on in” he smiled, letting her into the house.

He leaned down and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her into a hug. She smiled as her chin rested on his shoulder, and suddenly missed the closeness when he moved away.

As she walked in, Dean made quick work of checking her out. The black sweater she was wearing exposed her shoulders and collarbone, as her hair was styled in a simple yet perfect way. She was freaking stunning and he was regretting calling her over here.

Just keep it friendly and it’ll be good he told himself as he closed the door and walked into the kitchen.

“So, what can I get you drink?” he asked, as she followed him into the kitchen. “We got beer, wine, whiskey, a whole bunch of other spirits.”

She walked over to one of the high stools at the kitchen island, her heeled boots echoing through the house as they hit the hardwood floor and sat across from where he was standing.

“Wine would be great” she said, as she placed her phone in front of her on the counter, as she swayed a little to Zeppelin playing softly from the record player.

“Red or white?” he asked.

“Whatever’s going to go with dinner” she replied, with a small laugh.

“Red it is” he drummed his hands on the surface and then walked over to the other side of the kitchen, opening the glasses cabinet. He took out two wine glasses and selected a bottle from the wine rack on the bar he had next to the kitchen, before he walked back to his original spot.

“I didn’t take you for a wine guy” she teased, as she watched him pour a decent amount into each glass.

“I am when the occasion calls for it, and this definitely does” he said, as he passed one glass to her. He lifted his up in a toast and she did the same.

“To new friendships?” she suggested.

He smiled, nodding. “Absolutely.”

They clinked their glasses together and then both took a sip. She hummed as the liquid slipped down her throat.

“That’s amazing” she commented as she looked down at her glass.

“Yeah” he agreed as he picked up the bottle. “It’s pretty damn good and I’m not even much of a wine drinker.”

“So, how was work?” she asked, as she took another sip of wine.

His eyes lit up instantly. “Oh my god, today was freaking amazing! This guy brought in a beat up ’69 Camaro and wants us to restore it from the ground up!”

Her jaw dropped, just as excited as him now. “Oh my god, Dean! That’s incredible!”

He shook his head, his head still reeling. “I know, I swear as soon as he brought it into the back, me and Benny were losing our minds.”

“Wow” she laughed happily.

“It’s pretty much everything; new engine-” he started but suddenly stopped, clearing his throat. “Sorry, you probably don’t wanna hear this.”

She frowned, confused by the sudden change in his demeanor. “No, I do. Please, Dean, continue.”

“Oh, okay” he looked relieved as he went on. “So, yeah… new engine, tires, upholstery, paint job, the whole works.”

“That’s so awesome” she grinned.

“Yeah, and the guy’s pretty fucking loaded, too. So, he’s not sparing any expense. Paid in advance for everything” he told her, the smile never leaving his face.

“Dean” she sighed, her heart soaring. “This is seriously amazing. I’m so happy for you.”

“Thanks, Y/N” he half smiled, a twinge of sadness behind it. “I called and told Lisa as soon as he left. She said she was happy for me, but I know she’s not into this sorta thing, so…” he laughed it off, but Y/N knew he was hurting.

“Well, I don’t think you have to be in order to be happy for someone. I don’t know a damn thing about cars, but I’m really happy for you” she told him, sincerely.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right” he said, as he took a sip of wine. “I haven’t even told her about all my thoughts for expanding, either, because I know it’s not something she’s be interested in.”

“Expanding?” she asked, curiously.

“Yeah, I mean… we’ve had restoration jobs in the past, none as big as this one, but we’ve had a few. Every time we do, I keep thinking about opening another branch of the shop, specifically for restoration on classics, across town. Benny could run things here, while I’m at the new place for a while, and then we could just keep rotating between all of us at the shop. Maybe even hire a few more guys” he explained, a small grin on his face as he did.

“Dean… I think that’s brilliant. Not to mention incredibly different. That could really put you on the map” she complemented his plan, loving the idea instantly.

“Yeah” he nodded. “We’re flying already, and I’m really happy with where we are, but I know that we’d be unstoppable if that happened. You know?”

Y/N smiled; she loved seeing how ambitious he was. She couldn’t help but feel bad that he probably hadn’t shared this with anyone, except for maybe Benny.

“So, what about you? How’s work?” he asked, changing the subject to her.

“It’s good. I feel like I’m finally settled into the job, it happened quicker than I thought it would. I feel like Cas and Charlie had something to do with that. They’ve been so supportive of me” she replied, slowly turning her glass by the stem.

“Yeah, they’re awesome” Dean chuckled, incredibly matter of fact.

“We’re moving into teaching To Kill A Mockingbird next week, which I’m excited about” she smiled; it was one of her favorites.

“Man, I wish I had teachers as excited as you about school. Maybe I would’ve enjoyed it too” he laughed as he recalled his school days.

“Not a school guy, Dean?” she teased.

“God, no. I mean, I graduated, but that’s about it. I just didn’t have it in me like Sammy did, you know?” he said, truthfully.

“Well…” she said, as she laid her hand on his. “I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that. What you do matters, too. Not everyone can have the skills you have.”

Dean had the sudden realization that her hand felt incredible in his and he never wanted her to let go. She really cared about him and what he did, and that made his heart beat just a bit faster, knowing that.

“So, no hare-brained ideas like me?” he chuckled, but his self-deprecating humor wasn’t lost on her.

“Well, firstly, your idea isn’t hare-brained” she quickly chastised him for the way he was thinking. “And secondly, no big plans other than eventually moving into high school. Teaching Literature; that’s where I want to be.”

He nodded, all while trying to keep his naughty teacher fantasies at bay. “That’s great.”

“I mean, don’t get me wrong I do enjoy teaching the younger kids, but they’re a handful. Having more of chance to teach the stuff I really love in high school… it would be amazing” she said, her eyes dreamy and hopeful.

“Well, I hope you get there. Those kids are gonna have one badass teacher” he smirked as he complemented her.

“Thanks” she felt the heat rise in her cheeks. “I hope so, too. I’m dying to get the chance to teach my favorites; especially Jane Eyre.”

“That had something about a fire, right?” he asked, trying to recall if he knew anything about that book.

“Yeah. I absolutely love it” she sighed.

“Hey, what do you know, I know something” he laughed.

She shook her head, smiling as she gestured to the bookshelves in the living room. “Seems like you know plenty.”

“Those are mostly Lisa’s” he waved her off.

“Really?” she asked, an eyebrow raised. She hopped off the stool at the kitchen island and walked over to the shelves. She scanned them quickly, and took out a book, holding it up to him. It was Slaughterhouse Five. “Somehow I don’t think Lisa’s a Vonnegut fan.”

“I guess not” he said, as he walked over, slowly.

“Or Dracula” she said, picking that one up after putting away the other.

“Yeah, I… um, I like the sci-fi, and horror stuff” he shrugged.

“I do too” she smiled.

He returned it, finding their conversation so easy it scared him. It shouldn’t have been that simple with someone he couldn’t be with.

“Food shouldn’t be too hot now” he said, breaking the moment between them. “Let’s eat.”

Dean walked back into the kitchen and picked up the dish that was cooling down from the corner near the stove. He brought it over to the table and sat down at the head of the table, just as Y/N brought her wine glass and Dean’s over. She sat down at the corner where the place setting was as he lifted the lid off the dish. The smell was absolutely divine as it reached her nose. Dean cut into the lasagna and placed the piece on her plate with a slice of garlic bread and some salad. She smiled as he passed it to her and took out his own serving, minus the salad. She had to laugh.

“Alright, go ahead and give me the verdict” he said, wanting her to eat first.

She dug in and took a forkful, bringing it to her mouth. As she chewed, her eyes closed, a smile gracing her face.

She opened her eyes and looked at him. “That… is incredible.”

“Glad to hear to that” he smirked as he dug in.

“So…” she swallowed her mouthful before continuing. “Who taught you how to cook?”

“My mom, as cliché as that sounds. She didn’t want me eating take-out all the time when I moved out years ago, so she taught me a few things” he told her.

She nodded, smiling. She couldn’t help but think about how she found guys who cooked incredibly sexy.

“Are you and your mom close?” she asked.

“Yeah, we are. I was the one who was there for her when she and dad had a big fight. We started to talk more often after that” he replied, taking another bite.

“What happened?” she asked, softly. “If you don’t mind me asking…”

If it was anyone else, he probably would’ve shot the question down, but he was comfortable around Y/N. He felt like he could tell her things and she wouldn’t judge anyone. Even Lisa barely knew anything about his family.

“I was around 23, 24 and working with dad full-time by then. Sammy was at college. Things weren’t going great with the business; we were losing money and he was getting really stressed. He was forgetting things, just trying to provide and he forgot their anniversary. She got really upset and found out just how bad things were. There was a lot of yelling, she cried a lot. One night, he just left. He came back after a month, apologized a lot to her, and she forgave him. He was really different when he came back; a better version of himself. Things have been really good ever since” he explained, that memory still hard to think about.

“Do you guys know where he went?” she asked, her eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah, he went to a family friend in South Dakota. He helped turn things around for the business too, he’s a mechanic as well” Dean replied, smiling as he thought about his “uncle”. “Dad told me later he was just ashamed and didn’t know how to face her after what happened. He felt like he couldn’t provide for her, that she deserved better. He’s always felt like he didn’t deserve her, and she’s always felt like he’s exactly the person she was meant to be with.”

“I’m glad everything worked out” she smiled but frowned when something occurred to her. “Did he ever apologize to you?”

“He didn’t need to, I understood what happened and I never judged him for it” he shrugged.

“Well, that maybe so, but it put a pressure on you that you didn’t need” she said, understanding the situation completely. “I’m just saying, it’s never too late for that conversation.”

A silence fell as Dean thought about what she just said. About how she just understood, so instantly, so clearly. He cleared his throat as he continued to eat, his mind flooded with a million thoughts about her.

“You know a lot about my family, so I gotta know something about yours now” he said, wagging his eyebrows as he looked at her.

She laughed as she racked her brain for something interesting. “I wish I had some interesting stories, but I don’t.”

“Well, who are you closer with?” he asked.

She chewed quickly as she put her fork down. “Dad. I mean, I love my mom and we get a long great, but she can be a little too assertive sometimes. Whereas, my dad always knew how to get her to calm down and let me take the reins when I needed to. He always let me make my own choices, and if I ever made a decision that didn’t turn out well, he’d tell me that it was okay. It was a learning curve and that I would do it differently next time.”

Dean nodded, approvingly. “Smart.”

“Yeah” she smiled sadly, her heart longing for her family. “I miss them.”

“That’s another thing I gotta ask…” Dean started as she looked at him. “You’ve said you’re close with them since I first met you, so… why did you move so far away from them?”

There it was. The question she had been dreading. Yes, she had already told Charlie but that came up organically, through their conversation at the bar. Telling him was different.

Dean sensed a shift in Y/N and knew something was wrong. Her hands closed up, she avoided looking at him as she stared down at her plate and looked like she was shaking. He had never seen her like this, and he was scared that he had really upset her.

“Y/N, are you okay?” he asked, concerned.

“Yeah, I just… don’t know how to tell you” she replied, as she picked up her glass and took a big gulp of wine.

“Hey, you don’t have to tell me anything, it’s totally fine. I’m an idiot, I shouldn’t have brought it up” he apologized but she shook her head, causing him to stop.

“No, you’re not. It’s okay” she said, quietly. “I want to tell you. You’ve told me so much about your life, it’s only right I tell you about mine. Plus, I’ve talked about it with Charlie, so I’ll be okay.”

“Y/N, you don’t have to just because Charlie-” he said but she cut him off again.

“It’s okay, Dean. Really” she let one side of her mouth turn up, letting him know it was fine.

When Dean just looked at her intently and didn’t say anything, she decided that for now she’d tell him what she could. It wasn’t that she didn’t trust him, because she did. Completely. She just needed to hold some of it back for now. She told Charlie everything because somehow it was easier to open up to her. Dean was someone she was starting to have genuine feelings for, even though she shouldn’t be. As much as she wanted to open her whole heart to him, he wasn’t hers to do that.

Y/N cleared her throat from the roughness that built up because of the alcohol and her emotions already affecting her.

“I was in a relationship for a year and a half. His name was Ethan. He was a friend of a friend and we met at that friend’s birthday party. He was charming and funny, a little arrogant but I didn’t think much of it at the start. We started dating and he generous, but it didn’t last long. He was incredibly controlling, telling what I should or shouldn’t do. Everyone would tell me that wasn’t normal, and deep down I knew that, but he was just so convincing that I thought that he was trying to make me better” she told him, her voice shaking.

Dean continued to look at her, slipping his hand over hers. Y/N felt the heat of his hand on hers as she turned hers, locking them together.

“It took a night of a lot yelling, of finally realizing what kind of a man he was, to make me finally leave him.” She shook her head, closing her eyes as the waves of the past began to flood in.

She felt Dean’s hand squeeze hers, reassuring her that she was okay. That she wasn’t in that place anymore. It was a year later, but the effects of what Ethan had said, what he had done, still lingered, still held onto the rope that was nearly broken. Most of the strands were frayed and lost, but the last strands still needed to be torn.

Y/N opened her eyes and looked at Dean. She saw his eyes, sad but fiery, as he shook his head. She had probably scared him off and she didn’t blame him, honestly.

“Y/N, you’re… you’re the strongest person I know.” Dean gripped her hand, stroking his thumb across her knuckles. “You’re amazing. Beautiful. I-, fuck I wanna hurt him for what he did to you.”

Y/N huffed as what she was feeling got the better of her. “Fortunately, he’s far enough away that you don’t have to.”

“Is your family safe with him around?” he asked, concerned.

“Yeah, they are” she nodded, wiping under her eyes. “He uh… he was around for a while, I’d see him a lot, but he eventually moved out to L.A. with his girlfriend.”

“Good riddance” he grumbled, under his breath.

“I knew he was gone but still being there… it just became too much. I was in therapy for a year just trying work through everything. When I saw this job come up, I jumped on it straight away. I miss everyone back home, but I knew I had to leave” she explained, blinking a few times to keep the tears at bay. “There’s a lot more to it, but… I just…”

Dean shook his head as he leaned forward, his eyes boring into hers. “You don’t have to tell me more, Y/N.”

She couldn’t help but smile as she looked at him. “Thank you. For listening. It’s not everything but I wanted to tell you.”

“Well, thank you for telling me what you could. I can’t imagine how hard that was.” He gave her a soft smile, as he looked down at their hands. Still joined together.

“It was, but…” she contemplated whether she should say what she was about to, but it was the truth and she wanted him to know. “I trust you.”

Dean nodded, realizing that it meant a lot for her to do that. The fact that he had earned her trust in a short amount of time was something he wasn’t expecting. Now that he had it though, he made a promise then and there to himself that he would never let her doubt him.

“I trust you, too” he spoke softly, but he smiled when he saw the corners of her mouth turn up and he knew that she had heard him.

Y/N was glad to know that she had Dean’s trust too. It took a lot for a person to tell someone about their family issues, and the fact that he did just meant that he was comfortable around her. She was grateful for that and if he felt like that with her, then she certainly did with him, allowing her to tell him about her past. Even if there still a bit more to the story.

The conversation turned lighter after that. They discretely unclasped their hands from each other, as they continued to eat. They both hid the fact that they missed the feeling. They asked each other about their favorite things, the conversation moving quickly between movies, books and music. They both decided that Zeppelin was the shit, and no one could tell them otherwise. Dean quickly got up and changed the record to another Zeppelin album, and sat back down.

“Okay, don’t judge me” she said, looking sheepish as she pointed to the record player. “I still don’t have this album.”

“What?” he asked as he leaned forward, eyes wide. “You’re kidding.”

“No, unfortunately. I’m pretty sure dad just never got around to buying it, ever” she told him, frowning.

“Well, we gotta change that soon” he shook his head but with a small smile.

Y/N sat back in her chair; her plate now empty. That had been one of the best meals she had had a long time.

“Damn, that was incredible” she said. “Thank you.”

Dean smirked as he started clearing the plates and cutlery. “No problem, sweetheart. I’m glad it wasn’t failure.”

“Somehow I don’t think you could fail at this” she laughed slightly, as she stood up and helped him.

“Hey, I got this” he groaned as he nudged her, silently telling her to stop helping him.

“No way, you’re getting help whether you want it or not” she said, as she followed him into the kitchen.

He started washing up as she grabbed a cloth and started wiping whatever he washed.

“That was my job when me and Sam would clear up” he gestured to her, as she stood there with the towel.

“Really?” she asked, raising an eyebrow. “You weren’t the one washing?”

“Nope, Sammy didn’t trust me not to splash him” he laughed.

She joined in. “Brothers.”

“Eh, I’ve done worse” he shrugged, passing her a plate.

“Like what?” she wondered.

“Let’s see…” a wicked grin graced his face. “Itching powder in his boxers, Nair in his shampoo…”

She let out a loud screech. “Oh my god, no!”

“Yeah, I got into a lot of trouble for that one” he laughed, sheepishly.

“Good” she said, playfully elbowing him, but a little hard.

“Ow!” he moaned as he laughed. He turned the water off and wiped his hands on another cloth.

“Did you and your sister ever prank each other?” he asked.

“Uh, less purposely pranking and more just getting each other back for something” she recalled. “She’s older so she always felt like she deserved the most time in the bathroom. She spat in my hair while we were brushing our teeth and I bent down before her. So… I shaved off one of her eyebrows while she was sleeping.”

Dean threw his head and laughed loudly. “Wow, didn’t expect that, Y/L/N.”

She laughed as she wiped down the last of the cutlery. “Luckily, we grew out of all of that pretty quick.”

Dean smiled. She always wore a far off look on her face when she talked about her family. It must’ve been hard to not see them every day. He couldn’t imagine doing that. He went over to the oven and opened it, taking out a tray with two white ramekins. Y/N gasped as she walked over.

“You… you made chocolate molten cakes?” she asked, staring at them before looking up at him, wide eyed.

“Yeah” he said, nonchalantly. “There wasn’t enough time for pie, so chocolate cake it is.”

“You’re… full of surprises, Dean Winchester” she shook her head. He wasn’t real. He couldn’t be.

“More wine?” he asked, as he waited for the ramekins to cool.

“Oh gosh, I’ve had three glasses. I really shouldn’t” she said, looking at the bottle. “Ah, screw it. Sure!”

Dean chuckled and poured some for Y/N and then himself as What Is and What Should Never Be began to play.

And if I say to you tomorrow

Take my hand, child come with me

It’s to a castle I will take you

Where what’s to be, they say will be

He watched as she hopped up on the kitchen bench and took her glass. He took out a spoon from the drawer and slowly cut into the cake, watching the melted chocolate ooze out. He took some in the spoon and brought it over to her. He blew on it slightly, as he held his hand under it.

“Okay, tell me if it’s good” he said, as she leaned in and took the mouthful in.

The sound she made as she closed her eyes caused the heat to rise in his cheeks.

“Fuck” she moaned, delightedly. “That’s so fucking amazing!”

He sighed in relief and cleared his throat at the sounds she made, as he grinned at her. “Good to know.”

“You are an incredible cook, Dean. I’m glad I came over tonight” she said, looking at him as he took a bite himself.

Catch the wind, see us spin

Sail away leave today

Way up high, in the sky, hey

He hummed as he tasted it himself. “Well, me too. All this didn’t go to waste, which it definitely would’ve considering Lisa couldn’t stay, so thank you.”

“You’re welcome” she smiled, as she took a sip of wine.

He saw a speck of melted chocolate on the side of her lips and lifted his hand.

But the wind won’t blow

You really shouldn’t go

It only goes to show

“Hey, you got a little chocolate… right there” he murmured as he swiped his thumb across her lips and removed it.

“Oh” she gasped. “Thanks.”

The song continued to play as they looked at each other, their faces close as their eyes met.

That you will be mine

By taking our time, ooh

Before he could think twice about it, Dean leaned in and pressed his lips to hers. It took her a second, but quickly her lips moved against his. The kiss became heated instantly, their lips moving together sensually. He moved forward between her legs and wrapped his arms around her waist, as her arms went around his neck at the same time her legs wrapped around his hips. Her fingers combed through his hair, her fists tightening in the short spikes as he softly bit her bottom lip. She moaned into the kiss as his hands pulled her in, trying to get as close to her as possible.

And if you say to me tomorrow

Oh what fun it all would be

Then what’s to stop us, pretty baby

But what is and what should never be

Dean’s lips left hers as they trailed down, nipping at her jaw and moving down further. He nipped at her neck, causing another moan to leave her as he found her weak spot. She brought him in closer, gripping the short hair at the back of his head, tight. He slowly slipped his hand under her loose sweater, the heat of his hand meeting her back and spreading through her body. When his hand travelled up her back, the spell she was under broke.

Y/N pulled away from Dean, looking up into his green eyes. They were dark and blown wide from the moment of weakness they both just had, and she was sure hers were the same. She pushed herself away from him, her legs falling away from as he moved out of her space.

“I can’t do this” she said, frantically shaking her head.

She quickly hopped off the bench, looking for her phone. It was still on the island where she had left it. She quickly picked it up and ran towards the door.

Dean snapped out of his trance and followed behind her. “Y/N, wait!”

She didn’t hear him as she swung the door open and raced out, bounding down the stairs as she ran across the street.

Dean watched from the threshold as she ran into her house, shutting the door behind her. He thought that he should go over there, but knew it wasn’t a good idea. He stepped back in and closed the door. He ran his hands through his hair, messing up the spikes and ran them back down his face. He walked back into the kitchen, replaying what just happened over and over in his head. He had lost control and the guilt was beginning to settle in. Lisa didn’t deserve that, no matter how bad things were between them. He shouldn’t have done that with Y/N, she didn’t need this.

As he ran his hand over his lips, however, he closed his eyes. He could still her lips, still feel her touch on his body, still feel the smoothness of her skin against his hands. In that moment, it felt so right to be in her arms. It hadn’t felt wrong.

He knew now that he had just complicated things even more. Every fibre within him wanted to be close to her again, but he couldn’t.

He just had to try even harder now, with Lisa. That was the only way to not think about Y/N anymore.

That was the only way to fix things.

Y/N slammed the door behind her as she entered her house. She breathed heavily, her frantic run from Dean’s had winded her. She walked into the kitchen and opened the tap at the sink, flicking specks of water at her face. She took out a glass and filled it, gulping the water down.

Once she had calmed down slightly, her mind wandered back to what happened. She had kissed Dean. Dean, who was in a relationship. Dean, who was practically a father to a student in her class. Dean, who made her laugh and let her tell her story, without judging her. Dean, who said she was strong. Dean, who told her she was beautiful. Dean, who made her feel safe. Dean, who she was starting to have real feelings for.

It felt right to be with him, when it should’ve felt wrong. She was a horrible person and she never should’ve gone over there tonight.

She couldn’t see him again. Yes, it would be hard considering their close proximity, but she couldn’t. She had to forget about how she felt and remember he had a family. A family that didn’t deserve this, even if things were rocky.

She had to let go of Dean, when every instinct was telling her to pull him in and hold him tight.

She had to let him go, no matter how much it hurt.

She had to let him go, because it was the right thing to do.

-x-

Tags: @flamencodiva @deanwanddamons @winchest09 @katehuntington @akshi8278 @hobby27 @michellethetvaddict @spngirl05 @kyjey @halesandy @440mxs-wife @stoneyggirl @deanswaywardgirl @wonder-cole @that-one-gay-girl @redbarn1995 @marianita195 @babypink224221 @deans-baby-momma @parinarain @thoughts-and-funnies @mandalou29 @castiels-a-winchester @ellewritesfix05

#Life's Lessons #Dean x Female!Reader #Dean x Female!Reader Series #Dean x Female!Reader Fanfiction #Female!Reader Insert #Mechanic!Dean #Teacher!Reader #Dean x Reader Fanfiction #Dean Winchester Series #Dean Winchester Fanfiction #Dean Winchester Fanfic #Supernatural Fanfiction

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childrenofthenightt · 3 years ago

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so :) tonight is gonna be fun :)

f o l k s !!!!! tonight is gonna be a little bit different (cue evil laughter) thanks to my lovely friend @jimmys-zeppelin i made a playlist of formative childhood songs :) there’s a good mix of artists and genres, so tonight, on Late Night Listening with Syd, i will be recommending this playlist! ;)

i hope you enjoy, and please reply either in asks or on the post with thoughts 😌❤️

#late night listening with syd ❤️#music recs #oops sorry everyone #classic rock #literally too many bands to keep track of #playlists

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weirdletter · 4 years ago

Photo

Weird Westerns: Race, Gender, Genre (Postwestern Horizons), edited by Kerry Fine, Michael K. Johnson, Rebecca M. Lush, and Sara L. Spurgeon, University of Nebraska Press, 2020. Cover art by James Rinere, info: nebraskapress.unl.edu.

Weird Westerns is an exploration of the hybrid western genre—an increasingly popular and visible form that mixes western themes, iconography, settings, and conventions with elements drawn from other genres, such as science fiction, horror, and fantasy. Despite frequent declarations of the western’s death, the genre is now defined in part by its zombie-like ability to survive in American popular culture in weird, reanimated, and reassembled forms. The essays in Weird Westerns analyze a wide range of texts, including those by Native American authors Stephen Graham Jones (Blackfeet) and William Sanders (Cherokee); the cult television series Firefly and The Walking Dead; the mainstream feature films Suicide Squad and Django Unchained; the avant-garde and bizarre fiction of Joe R. Lansdale; the tabletop roleplaying game Deadlands: The Weird West; and the comic book series Wynonna Earp. The essays explore how these weird westerns challenge conventional representations by destabilizing or subverting the centrality of the heterosexual, white, male hero but also often surprisingly reinforce existing paradigms in their inability to imagine an existence outside of colonial frameworks.

Contents: Introduction: Westworld(s): Race, Gender, Genre in the Weird Western – Michael K. Johnson, Rebecca M. Lush, and Sara L. Spurgeon Part 1. The Weird West, Past and Present 1. Attack of the Monstrous Vegetable: Bret Harte’s Pioneer Nightmare and “Miscegenation” Dream – Tara Penry 2. Strange Country: Sexuality and the Feminine in Robert Coover’s Ghost Town – Eric Meljac and Alex Hunt 3. A Selective History: Identity and Identification in Deadlands – Nicholas William Moll Part 2. Native Reclamations and Representations 4. Mongrel Transmotion: The Werewolf and the Were/Wear/Where-West in Stephen Graham Jones’s Mongrels – Joshua T. Anderson 5. Indianizing the Western: Semiotic Tricksterism in William Sanders’s Journey to Fusang – Sara L. Spurgeon 6. Magnificence and Metas in Professional Westerns – Domino Renee Perez Part 3. Surrogate indians and Other Indigenous Metaphors 7. Defamiliarizing the Western on the Extraterrestrial Frontier: Jonathan Lethem’s Girl in Landscape – Johannes Fehrle 8. Shining the Light of Civilization: The Savage Other of the Frontier in Firefly and Serenity – Meredith Harvey 9. Racial Metaphors and Vanishing indians in Wynonna Earp, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, and Emma Bull’s Territory – Rebecca M. Lush Part 4. The African American Presence in the Weird Western 10. The Mad Black Woman in Stephen King’s The Dark Tower – Jacob Burg 11. Uncle Tom’s Cabin Showdown: Stowe, Tarantino, and the Minstrelsy of the Weird West – Joshua D. Smith 12. Race and Gender in the Time Travel Western – Michael K. Johnson Part 5. The Undead in the Weird Western 13. Go West, Old Man: Or, Buffalo Bill and the “Yellow Peril” in Zeppelins West – Cynthia J. Miller and A. Bowdoin Van Riper 14. amc’s The Walking Dead and the Restructuring of Gender and Race on the Neofrontier – Scott Pearce Afterword: This Is (Not) the End – Stephen Graham Jones Contributors Index

#book #essay #weird essay #horror essay #postwestern #weird western #horror western #western fantasy #western

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new2fivesauce · 4 years ago

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Please Don’t Regret Me - 6. The L in CALM

Words: 3141

No Warnings.

This feels like a filler chapter instead of what I had intended to be the last. So with that being said, there will be one and final chapter of Please Don’t Regret Me and I hope this one doesn’t suck to much. Thanks!

The early morning’s first rays of sunlight eased their way into Nelle’s LA hotel room. The drum and bass heavy beginning notes of The Black Keys’ Dead and Gone startled Nelle out of her sleep.

“Fuck” she groaned as she tried to turn her stiff body towards the nightstand where her phone was continuing to play the alarm. Through her hazy and clearly hungover mind, she wondered why she couldn’t move her lower body. It wasn’t until she looked under the covers through groggy eyes to see an arm was holding her down by her waist. Her amber eyes followed the arm to the rest of the body. Luke was turned to her, blonde curls covering his face, light snores excelling from him. She heaved his arm off of her and made haste with shutting off her alarm. Her head was pounding as she got up from the bed. She held onto the nightstand when her body swayed gently, her balance totally askew. It was almost like a Ninja Warrior obstacle course just to get to the bathroom.

Nelle emerged from the bathroom almost an hour later. A towel wrapped around her head, another around her body, her mind now somewhat clearer than it had been when she first opened her eyes. She tiptoed around as she got dressed, brushed the tangles out her hair, and did concealer around her dark circles. Just as she had started packing up her belongings, Luke began to stir in his sleep. She froze mid action while putting last night’s clothes in her luggage.

She hadn't realized she was holding her breath until he positioned himself into a more comfortable spot.

Suddenly, Luke startled awake. Nelle jumped and squeaked in surprise but he hadn't seemed to see or hear her. Luke rubbed his eyes quickly, then used his hands to pat the comforter around him.

"Nelle?" He uttered in complete sadness and confusion, his head hanging down. Nelle cleared her throat and the blond boy in front of her shot his head up so fast he almost hit it on the headboard. He smiled lazily in her direction as he ran a hand through his curls. "Hey." He said.

Nelle returned the greeting and tried to smile back but she was sure it came out as a grimace. Luke didn't even seem to notice. He was just in awe of the girl who he had spent the night with. Even when she excused herself to gather something from the bathroom, he made sure to keep his eyes on her. It took a few times of Nelle folding clothes and walking around her room for Luke to finally become aware of what was happening.

"W-what are you doing?" He stuttered. She finished folding a white t-shirt that Luke immediately recognized. She put it down gently on top of a small pile of clothes at the edge of the bed.

"My flight is at 12. I'm about to head out. Don't worry though, the room is good until two, but if you need it for longer, just call the front desk. My card is on file; It’ll be fine." She said so nonchalantly that Luke could only gape at her. She gestured to the folded clothes. "Change of clothes." She added. "This was still in my suitcase from the last tour."

Luke scoffed. If Nelle heard it, she pretended not to. "I'm returning your Zeppelin shirt too." Her eyes flickered to the white shirt that was on top of the stack.

When Luke didn't say anything, Nelle took it as her cue to leave. She hated being late, especially to the airport. As she turned to her suitcase, Luke finally spoke.

"So that's it then?" He questioned, in anger. He wished he hadn't slept naked because he felt this was a conversation he needed to be standing for. He didn't know where his clothes were and he didn't want to seem like a klutz getting out of bed so he stayed put.

Nelle halted just a bit away from the bed and faced the singer.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Isn't that all you wanted?" She knew it wasn’t, but she felt that that was all she could give him at the moment. He was a fucking celebrity and with the release of Youngblood, he was more popular than ever.

Nelle immediately regretted her comeback as soon as Luke's blue eyes closed and he turned his head away to compose himself.

"I have to go. I never said I was going to stay." Nelle tried to reason.

Luke eyed her suspiciously though his eyes looked like glassy orbs through the tears he was struggling to hold in. "So you’re not even going to try to make this work?

“I’m not sure what you’re trying to make work, Luke.” she calmly stated but her hand tightened on the handle of her suitcase. Luke shook his head. “If you have something to say… then just say it. I’m not going to try to figure you out or put words in your mouth.”

When Luke didn’t say anything, just stared at Nelle with the coldest blue eyes she’s ever seen, she turned away and left.

-----

**3 months later, New York**

The months had passed slowly and drab. Winter always felt so long, so cold, so depressing… If anyone would have told Nelle that after Christmas, New York went from magical to just another cold day, she would have hopped on the first plane to Australia… but no one had and she had missed her chance to visit her family. This wasn’t her first Christmas that she’d gone without spending it with her family, but all those other times, she’d at least had “the boys.”

She sighed as she waltzed around her kitchen, putting the finishing touches on her and Sasha’s spaghetti dinner. Sasha would come prancing in any minute now from yet another photo shoot. Nelle had kept busy since returning from tour with her online Yale classes, a few small side jobs as a book intern, manager at a coffee cafe, and a PA at several various businesses, but nothing ever stuck. She wasn’t going to lie… she missed the touring. She thought retirement from the music world would be relief. Now all she had was this itch to zoom to and from places, literally schedule everything down to Michael’s next breath, use her customer service voice on asshats who thought they knew better, and best of all, spending every second of her time with four of the noisiest, fartiest, annoyingest boys.

Her thoughts lingered on Luke for a brief moment. She tried not to think too much about him. After leaving him naked in LA, they had shared a few intense, mostly one word, text messages and then zilch. He couldn’t find the words to express his feelings, which confounded Nelle because he was a damn songwriter and had written all these love songs for the band, yet, when it came to expressing how he felt towards her all he had to say was You should have stayed.

She wasn’t necessarily heartbroken, but she ached for him and his hair and his scent and their late night conversations and Brooklyn Nine-Nine marathons and dumb pranks on Calum.

Nelle was plating their food when she heard the lock of her apartment door jiggle and then turn loudly. Sasha dashed in, her heavy winter coat already falling off her body as she went through the door. Sasha slammed the door behind her, dropping her purse, phone, and whatever else onto her coat.

“Hey Hey!” she greeted quickly as she ran towards the bathroom in Nelle’s bedroom. “Sorry! Subway took forever! And you know how I feel about public restrooms!” Nelle heard Sasha call out from the distance. She chuckled as she went over to pick up her friend’s items from the floor.

Plates full of spaghetti and meatballs, glasses of wine, and the next episode of Gossip Girl was ready by the time Sasha emerged from the bedroom. She walked slowly in a daze and plopped down on the sofa next to Nelle. Nelle grabbed the remote from next to her and was about to start the show, when her friend quickly took the remote from Nelle.

“If you want to watch something else, just say so… I thought we were going to start season four today.” Nelle grumbled before slurping a forkful of noodles in her mouth. Sasha didn’t respond, just reached into the hoodie she’d put on in Nelle’s room, and pulled out two boxes.

It took more than a second or two for Nelle to realize what she was looking at.

“I wasn’t snooping, I swear!” Sasha began. “I was just looking for a tampon… and I found these.” Sasha looked down at the boxes of pregnancy tests she was holding. “Is there something you want to tell me?” she asked cautiously, taking a quick glance at Nelle’s stomach and back up to her amber eyes.

The brunette sighed as she placed her plate of food down on the coffee table. She sat up straight afterwards facing Sasha, her best friend and closest confidant…

"I'm sorry." Nelle started, dropping her head. Her waves tumbled forward, covering her embarrassed face. "It was just a scare. I panicked when it was nearly two months since having my period and I might have missed a day or two of my birth control while we were on tour. I bought a ton of tests and took like three of them.

"I got mixed results and I went to the doctor. She confirmed that I wasn't and the positive ones could have been faulty or expired tests. Turns out CVS doesn't always toss their expired pregnancy tests.

"I changed to an IUD though. So that's a plus. No kids for me for another five years… maybe. But I didn't tell you because it was nothing to worry about. And I didn't want to deal with the reactions."

Nelle nervously looked up, peering through her hair to peek at Sasha. Sasha was still as stone, almost like a Greek statue.

"My reactions?" Sasha questioned, her head slightly tilting to the right.

Nelle nodded.

"Yeah… you know… the mixed reactions of disappointment in whether you are or aren't or happy because you are… or aren't. I came out negative and I was happy. I just… I don't know." Nelle hung her head again, defeated. "I just didn’t think it was anything to tell and honestly, I forgot to throw away the extra tests."

Sasha shrugged her shoulders. Nelle could see her friend trying to work her situation in her head and thought that the subject was dropped when Sasha started scarfing down her food and the next episode of Gossip Girl.

It was halfway into the episode that Sasha suddenly paused the show and turned to Nelle, her eyebrows furrowed deeply with concern.

"Okay, I'm fine with your decision to not have told me. I'm sure if you were, it would have been different circumstances blah, blah, blah. I'm curious though. Why would you think you were preggo though? I haven't seen you with anyone in… well… forever. And I know you didn't hook up with that Daniel guy."

Nelle shrugged her shoulders, leaving a confused expression on Sasha’s face. Sasha then looked around the room suddenly, trying to find anything out of place or something that didn’t look like Nelle’s interior style.

“You haven’t had sex in ages… probably since you were in One Direction tabloid news for dating Zayn… Are you seeing someone?! Please don’t tell me it was a roadie guy!”

Nelle laughed, shaking her head at the same time at her friend’s ridiculous accusation.

“No, it was not a roadie… Honestly, I didn’t think anything was going to happen. We’re so restricted about our feelings, but the tension is always there. I thought before I departed the first time, with us rooming together all the time, maybe one of us would finally spill the beans about our feelings, but it never happened. Then Ash had his party and Luke was just there. Maybe it was the drinking or maybe in that moment… or moments, if you know what I mean, I just didn’t care. But we haven’t really spoken since. I kind of did walk out on him. He wanted me to stay, but I didn’t want to. He makes it seems like I owe it to him to stay and follow him around everywhere; could be because I did that for fucking years… but that was my damn job. It wouldn’t fucking hurt him to do the same for me. He’s just as capable of following me across the country as I am for him.”

Nelle gulped in some air, not sure where the sudden rush of words had come from, but Sasha had nothing to say in that moment. All she could do was gape at her. Her mouth wide open, her eyes almost popped out their sockets.

With a hand over her mouth, Sasha mumbled “shit” about five times, then let out a laugh. The girl cackled for a minute, making Nelle scoot away from her awkwardly.

“Fuckin’ hell. Nelle… fucking Luke?!” Sasha began, a short chortle escaped her mouth again. “I knew it. You were acting hella weird on the plane ride back. You totally ignored the group chat when Ash sent that pic of those lacy undies asking Who the hell had sex in my laundry room?!. Any time Cal facetimes and Luke is in the background, you suddenly have something to do in another room. You stare at his texts for waaaaay too long before typing something and then deleting it only to answer back with one or two words. I should have paid more attention. Fuck, dude.”

“It was one night, Sash. It was the best fucking night ever. And I don’t know what to do. I’m acting like he barely exists because he can’t tell how he feels about me. I see it on his face, I see it in some of his actions, but he can’t ever just tell me ‘Nelle, I like you… like I like you, like you!’” Nelle felt a hard lump in her throat and tried to sniffle it away. “I lied to you when I said that he didn’t write any songs on Youngblood about me. Calum confirmed half that shit is about me, written and recorded that very day I quit on them.”

Sasha reached over, taking Nelle’s hands in her’s. She pressed on them gently, rubbing small circles with her thumbs for comfort. Her eyes were sympathetic.

“I’m sorry, kid.” she said softly. “I don’t know how I can make this better.”

----------

**Australia**

It was December and the start of summer. Calum sighed as he adjusted himself on his couch, another episode of some documentary he had on for noise had just begun. He wondered how his girlfriend was faring. He knew New York was cold and he hadn’t understood why she was so insistent on remaining there for the holidays, but he sensed maybe it had to do with not wanting to leave Nelle by herself.

Speaking of Nelle, he had barely talked to her in the weeks since she had left LA after Ashton’s party. She wasn’t cold-shouldering him. He knew there was something keeping her distant, he just couldn’t pinpoint it. He had asked Sasha, but she had no idea herself either.

Calum looked towards the wall that separated his side of the duplex he shared with Nelle. Another sigh escaped his lips before there was a knock on his front door. Calum lazily swung his body off his couch. He adjusted his basketball shorts before opening the door.

Luke, curls a long, yellow mess, dark circles under his eyes, wrinkled clothes, was on the other side of the door. Calum didn’t say anything, just stepped aside to let the taller fellow in. Calum, like every other day that Luke came over in this state, went to the kitchen to fetch a glass of water while the blond made himself comfortable on Calum’s couch.

When Calum returned to the living room, Luke had taken over the couch he had been on, switching the channels on the television. He set the glass on the coffee table in the middle of the room. Luke eyed it, but made no attempt to take a drink.

This was becoming a new norm for them since they returned to Australia. Ashton still remained in LA and Michael was doing some traveling for another week, not sure where his next stop was going to be.

“How was therapy?” Calum asked, starting small talk, as he took the couch adjacent to the one Luke was laying on. Luke shrugged his shoulders. “Did you even go?” he asked, concerned.

“Yeah.” Luke answered softly, not letting his eyes flicker off the TV. “Same as last week. Doc says I’m in a void since we’re not touring. I don’t know how to keep myself busy.”

Calum raised an eyebrow, letting his eyes roam his friend’s attire. Luke was wearing a t-shirt that he recognized from Nelle’s wardrobe, shorts that were extremely wrinkled, and a pair of converse with unmatched socks.

“Did she also comment on how you haven’t changed out that outfit for two weeks?”

Luke scoffed. “I washed it, asshole.”

Calum snickered with a shake of his head.

The two didn’t say much afterwards; they watched whatever sitcom Luke had put on. Luke was drifting into a nap, when Calum’s phone vibrated on the coffee table, startling him. Calum chuckled at him before grabbing his phone to see who was contacting him.

Sasha’s name followed by a pink heart emoji appeared on his screen. He was concerned and confused. Because of the ten hour time difference, it had been a bit hard to communicate between the couple. Sometimes Sasha was barely waking up and Calum was going to sleep or vice versa. It had been difficult to find a time that suited them both. He swiped his phone screen to open the message.

Cal… I figured out the problem.

Nelle and Luke slept together. Ash’s party.

Calum gulped, a rush of fury came and went so fast followed by surprise, annoyance, and finally calm. No wonder Luke has been acting so weird and always looked at Nelle’s side of the duplex with such damn longing.

He peered up at Luke from over his phone as he sent a quick text back.

he’s here now. wat do i say?

Sasha’s reply came faster than Calum had anticipated.

You better get him here now with a bouquet of roses and fucking love letter the length of the equator and he better BEG on his hands and knees for the requited love of Eleanor Padilla.

#luke hemmings #luke hemmings imagine #5 seconds of summer #5 sos imagines #5 seconds of summer imagines #5 seconds of summer imagine #5sos #calum hood #ashton irwin #michael clifford #please dont regret me

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inthedayswhenlandswerefew · 5 years ago

Text

Baby You Were My Picket Fence [Chapter 5: Paradise City]

You are a first grade teacher in sunny Los Angeles, California. Ben Hardy is the father of your most challenging student. Things quickly get complicated in this unconventional love story.

Song inspiration: Miss Missing You by Fall Out Boy.

Chapter warnings: Language, some sexual content (not smutty).

Link to chapter list (and all my writing) HERE

Taglist: @blushingwueen @queen-turtle-boiii @everybodyplaythegame @onceuponadetectivedemigod @luvborhap @sincereleygmg @stormtrprinstilettos @loveandbeloved29 @ohtheseboysilove @jennyggggrrr @vanitysfairr @bramblesforbreakfast @radiob-l-a-hblah @xox-talia-xox @killer-queen-xo @caborhapch @kimmietea @asquiresofftime @hardzzellos @sleepretreat @ramibaby @jonesyaddiction @ixchel-9275 @omgitsearly @lovepizza-cake11 @deacy-dearest @shishterfackisback @mrbenhardys @deaky-with-a-c If I forgot anyone, please yell at me :)

The blue chalk moves swiftly with shrill little squeaks over the board. You’re dressed in a floral red dress, leggings, sensible sable flats, and fuzzy woolly mammoth earrings. The kids love to see what sort of eccentric accessories you wear each day; there’s even a space on the board reserved for it. Today’s flair is: woolly mammoth earrings! (Please don’t touch unless you ask first!!)

“Okay my lovely children, let’s practice using each of this week’s spelling words in a sentence. Who can remind me what the first word on our spelling list is?”

“Oh! Oh!” Brendyn—who you mentally mix up with Brayden or Kayden at least twice a day—leans out of his chair and waves his arm hysterically. Dear god, please send a plague to wipe the unnecessary Y baby name trend off the face of the planet. “I can!”

“Go ahead, Brendyn.”

“Throw,” he announces proudly, as if he’s just won the Olympic medal for elementary-school writing.

“Awesome job! That’s right!” You transcribe it on the board: 1. Throw. “And who thinks they can come up with a sentence using the word throw?”

Eli, as he’s doodling all over his worksheet, says: “If you don’t like someone, you can throw them out of a window.”

You swallow noisily as you collect your thoughts. The other students are alternately giggling cautiously or gasping, scandalized. “Now, Eli...”

“Yes, Miss Teacher?” he prompts.

“It’s nice to raise our hands and wait to be called on when we have something to share.”

“Oops.” He raises his hand.

You sigh heavily. “Could you come up with a different sentence, please? One that is more school-appropriate? Remember we had a whole talk last week about school-appropriate topics. Right class?”

“Yes, Miss Y/L/N!” they agree in unison. That conversation hadn’t, perhaps shockingly, been inspired by Eli. A chatty, beach-blond, future surfer bro named Dexter had discovered his father, a prominent cinematographer, in a compromising position with the nanny—in the jacuzzi tub, no less—and felt the need to divulge that during Story Sharing Time. Worst parent phone call ever.

“Give it another try, Eli,” you say encouragingly.

“Taking spelling tests makes me want to throw up.”

You drop your face into your hands as the class howls in laughter. “Okay, very funny, but I still think we can come up with something more appropriate. Does anyone else have an idea?”

Maisy raises her hand timidly. Oh, hallelujah.

“Yes, Maisy!”

“Always remember to throw away your trash.”

“Wonderful!” You write the sentence on the board. “No littering. I like it. Save the sea turtles. Maisy, as a reward, you may give Creampuff one pumpkin seed.”

“Yay!” Maisy leaps out of her seat and sprints to Creampuff’s cage behind your desk. It’s your third year teaching with Creampuff, and the poor hamster is decisively in geriatric territory; she’s morbidly obese and her eyes are bluish with cataracts. But the children adore her, and Creampuff has always been wonderfully sweet and never bites. You just hope that when the time comes, she has the decency to kick the bucket over a long weekend so you can dispose of the body in secret and whip up a cheery story to tell the kids about how Creampuff went to live in an organic vegan farm or a hamster sanctuary or a retirement community in sunny Tampa Bay, Florida.

“Okay friends,” you announce. “Go ahead and practice coming up with sentences on your worksheet. Then we’ll chat in five or ten minutes and see what we’ve got. Ready, set, go!”

As students’ heads bow and pencils begin scratching against paper, you circle the room peeking over shoulders and making suggestions here and there. When you reach Eli’s desk, you crouch down so your gaze is level with his.

“Hey, Eli.”

“Hi,” he replies mistrustfully, his blue eyes narrow under dark curls.

“I just wanted to let you know that I thought your sentence ideas were very funny and very, very clever. But they just weren’t the best choices to use in class. Do you understand why?”

“Yeah,” he says, smirking a little. Of course you do, you’re the smartest kid in here.

“And I really appreciated you raising your hand to speak once you were reminded.”

“Thanks.” He’s actually bashful now, his high olive-skinned cheeks flushing.

“Are you still going to help me clap the erasers after class today?”

His eyes light up like wildfire. “Can I?”

The trap’s been sprung. Clapping erasers is like cocaine for first graders. “You betcha. If the rest of our spelling lesson goes smoothly.”

“Okay!” He immediately picks up his pencil and begins jotting down sentences. The handwriting is definitely a work in progress, but Eli’s spelling and grammar are immaculate. You can’t help but smile to yourself as you walk away; you’re feeling triumphant, of course, but there’s something else as well.

I’m proud of you, demon kid.

~~~~~~~~~~

Ben is standing on your doorstep, dressed in black, a potted calla lily in his hands. And at first he’s got that unnerving veneer, he’s serious and intimidating and smoldering; but then you find his eyes and his smile breaks open like cracked glass.

“Hi,” he says meekly.

“Hi.” You point to the calla lily. It’s a vivid green, like his eyes, like the serrated continents of the Earth from space. “Is that for me?”

“Yes, actually. It’s a gift, but it’s kind of a joke too.”

“How’s that?”

“It’s fake.” He grins. “So you can’t kill it.”

You laugh and take the pot, leaning back so the silk calla lily doesn’t tickle your nose, doesn’t rub against your makeup. “Come on in, Mr. Hardy.” Ben follows you, his hands in his jacket pockets, peering around watchfully. You find a temporary home for your new plant on the kitchen counter, right next to your latest purchase; you rest your hand, not-so-subtly, on the brand new, mint green, vintage record player. “Check this bad boy out.”

“Wow!” Ben leans down to examine it, running his fingertips over the turntable. Then his eyes flick to the box of vinyl records. “And you’ve already got listening material!”

“Lots of Queen, you’d totally approve.”

“Zeppelin?”

“Naturally.”

He flips through the records quickly: The Eagles, The Stones, Guns N’ Roses, The Beatles, The Cars, Aerosmith, Cheap Trick, Fleetwood Mac, U2, Hendrix, Elton, Nirvana. “Love it. I’m pumped. How much did all of this cost you?”

You crinkle your nose in lighthearted defiance. “It’s rude to talk about money, Mr. Hardy. Not a lot. Amazon is an amazing thing. And I’ve been collecting records for years. Yard sales, thrift shops, wherever. Some of them were my parents’ before I commandeered them.”

“I’ll ask again.” He takes out his wallet and starts counting bills, the paper shuffling in his hands. “How much for the record player? Estimate the rest.”

“Ben,” you protest, dismayed.

“Y/N,” he teases.

“You can’t buy everything for me,” you say gently.

“I’m not buying. I’m renting. I get to choose what to play whenever I’m here.” He unfolds $300 and lays it on top of the record player. “Will that cover it?”

You gape at the money. Yes, that’s about right. “Ben...I’d let you request music for free.”

“I don’t want requests. I want everything.” And then he grins, and it almost rips the floor out from under you. Oh god, I love this man.

You’ve never said those words aloud. You’ve never talked about his refrigerator magnet confession. But it’s somewhere in the space between you like a circling ghost, like a promise, like shared blood singeing under flesh.

“But,” Ben says, bringing you back into focus. “For now we should probably get going.”

“Right.” You grab your purse and jacket as Ben calls an Uber. “Where are we meeting them, anyway?”

He winks at you, his face illuminated by the glow of his cellphone screen. “Not the fucking Olive Garden.”

The Uber is a BMW with leather seats and a minibar installed in the backseat. As it cruises through downtown L.A., Ben tells you about how Joe has an apartment in the city, how Rami splits his time between his loft here and another in New York, how devout Londoner Gwilym is in town for work. You down a tiny Absolut Vodka to ease your nerves. “And when do I get to see your place, Mr. Hardy?”

He chuckles noncommittally. “We’re here,” he declares, glancing up through the BMW’s tinted windows. Outside is an upscale nightclub called The Edison. Then he turns to you. “Two things,” he says, holding up his index and middle fingers. There’s a gold ring on each. “First, don’t forget about the low profile.”

“That shouldn’t be difficult since we’re...” Air quotes. “Not dating.”

“Good. And secondly, don’t be anxious. They’re going to love you. You’re...”

“Charming?” you suggest, batting your eyelashes. “Blessed with impeccable music taste? Awesome at taming demons?”

He smiles. “I was going to say perfect.”

~~~~~~~~~~

You’re three shots deep and belting out Sweet Caroline with the electric-fence kid from Jurassic Park. There’s a sentence you never thought would cross your mind.

Joe’s trim left arm is draped over your shoulders, his head leaning into yours, a lager swooping precariously in his right hand as he gestures with it like a microphone. Ben is looking on, grinning as he sips his Sazerac, his eyes flickering in the dim, rusty light. When you first arrived, Ben introduced you as a friend; Joe had quickly shimmied over and started dropping lines.

“Joe,” Ben flared, like it was a warning. “I’m not trying to set you two up. That’s not what this is.”

“Whoops, my bad,” Joe had replied, and dialed down the saccharine charm. Yet you like Joe, you like him a lot, and within thirty minutes you’ve already exchanged numbers and compared astrological signs and agreed that he’s going to teach you how to play baseball next week.

“She’s got a thing for Jeff Goldblum, you know,” Ben says now.

“Stop!” you cry, blushing furiously.

“Do you?!” Joe asks and gulps half his lager. “I can make that happen. I can introduce you.”

“He’s a lot older than he was in his Jurassic Park days,” you sigh, lamenting.

“But also wayyyyy richer!” Joe pitches, waggling his eyebrows.

“She’s a schoolteacher,” Ben notes. “She could use a sugar daddy.”

“Girl, I am going to hook you up!”

Rami and Lucy return to the circular booth from the dancefloor, their fingers interlaced. Lucy is incredibly delicate, even tinier and more youthful than she appears onscreen, and always smiling; Rami speaks slowly and thoughtfully and with a captivating meticulousness, and when he fixes his pale eyes on yours you feel like you’re the only person in the room, in the city, in the world, as if whatever you have to say is the most profound thing he’s ever heard. Rami shouts something to Ben over the blaring music as Ben takes a pack of cigarettes out of his pocket and lights one.

“Oh my god!” you exclaim, and Joe jumps beside you, startled. “You smoke?”

Ben takes a draw, exhales smoke through full pink lips, and smirks guiltily.

“What year is this?!”

“2019,” Joe offers.

“Who the fuck smokes in 2019?!” you hurl at Ben. “Do you like breathing? Do you enjoy your internal organs? Do you want to live to spend all your BoRhap money?”

“You tell him!” Joe whoops, clapping. “Yeah baby! Tell him, Y/N!”

You ask incredulously: “They let people smoke in here?!”

“They do in the VIP section,” Joe chimes.

“He’s quite the delinquent, isn’t he?” Gwil says, appearing from the dancefloor and resting his hands on Ben’s shoulders. Gwilym is gentlemanly and eruditions, classically handsome, one of those people whose sincerity reads all over their face. His voice is different than Ben’s, lighter, sharper, less husky; he’s tall and slim and polished. In a phrase, he’s outlandishly lovely.

“I didn’t come here for an intervention, mate,” Ben responds, but his tone is pleasant and at-ease.

“Sorry for loving you, Ben!” Joe yells. “Sorry for caring about your longevity!”

“Sorry for wanting to grow old with you and retire together!” Gwil wails theatrically.

“Oh wow wow wow,” Rami says, shaking his head and smiling. Lucy is clutching a Malibu Sunset and trying to drag him back to the dancefloor, her polka dot dress swirling dreamily around her ankles.

“Wait,” Joe begins, “this is awkward, I definitely already purchased adjacent burial plots for me and Ben and the cemetery has a strict no-Welshmen policy, so...”

Laughing, you turn to Ben, and all at once the two of you are alone in this deafening and pulsing space. He takes another draw, the lit end of his cigarette glowing like embers, his eyes—green like envy, like a snake’s skin, like insatiable greed—all over you: your lips, your neck, your chest, lower. Something deep and shapeless ripples through you, déjà vu or recognition or desire or all of that and more; you want to reach out and touch his flushed flawless skin with your fingertips, you want to make sure he’s real. Gwil and Rami and Lucy are engrossed in some conversation about the best neighborhoods for apartment hunting in London, but Joe’s squinting suspiciously at you and Ben through the veil of smoke. You can’t fool him.

“Right,” Ben says suddenly, crushing the rest of his cigarette in an ashtray. “I’ve got to run. Y/N, do you want a lift home?”

This is just for show, just for the low-profile arrangement; of course you want to leave with him. You’ll follow him anywhere. “That’d be greatly appreciated.” As you climb out of the booth, Ben slips his phone from his pocket to call an Uber.

Joe waves, still thoughtful. “See you soon, Sweet Caroline!”

“Oh god, let’s never talk about that again.”

Rami gives you a sophisticated peck on each cheek, Lucy a spirited hug and a delighted little squeal; her oversized dangling earrings drag along your cheek as you pull away. Gwil takes your hands firmly in his own. “It was wonderful to meet you, love,” he says. “Come along anytime.”

“You’ve all been so kind!” you gush tipsily, and that’s the truth; they’ve been almost preposterously welcoming.

“Yeah yeah, you’ve stolen the show,” Ben says affectionately, maybe even proudly, guiding you towards the front of the club with his palm pressed lightly against the small of your back. “Cheers! We’ll do this again soon,” he calls back to the others. Joe and Gwil dramatically blow kisses after him as you push through the crowds and out into the windswept, luminescent Los Angeles night.

“What’s the hurry—?”

“Can I take you home now?” His voice is rushed and breathless; he’s doing that nervous thing he does where he glances around distractedly and bites his lips and shifts his weight from one foot to the other and runs his thumb over his chin.

“Of course,” you answer, your words hushed like clouds muting the moonshine.

A red Porsche rolls up along the sidewalk and Ben opens the door for you.

“I need you to do something for me,” you say when you’re both in the car and zooming through traffic towards the suburbs.

“Anything.”

Your gaze is devouring his high cheekbones—Eli’s, just like Eli’s—as the streetlights pass overhead, his messy hair and barely-there smile and all that lives under his fierce exterior, kindness and strength and wit and love. Love. “I need you to quit smoking.”

He laughs at you; that’s not what he expected. “Seriously?”

“I don’t want you to die young. I don’t want to lose you.” You can’t stand that thought. You’ve known him for three weeks and you’re hooked like a fucking swordfish; he’s in your bones, your blood, your lungs, he’s dragging you up from the depths and into blinding, open air.

This is too soon. This is way too soon. You don’t know this guy at all.

And yet somehow you do, somehow it feels like you always have.

Ben reaches over and weaves his fingers through yours. “I’m not going anywhere.”

He follows you inside when the Uber pulls into your driveway; he’s not speaking, he doesn’t remove his jacket or his shoes. He begins flipping through your box of records as you lean against the kitchen counter, your arms crossed.

“This is a test,” you say with a smile.

Ben makes a selection at last, drops the record onto the turntable, and places the needle. The music begins, filling your tiny one-bedroom house, reverberating off the walls that you’ve painted mint green and lilac and teal and pastel rosy pink. He still isn’t looking at me.

“Interesting choice.” The song is Save Tonight by a Swedish artist called Eagle-Eye Cherry; it’s acoustic and simple and soulful. “That’s not very classic rock of you.”

“Go on and close the curtains

'Cause all we need is candlelight

You and me, and a bottle of wine

To hold you tonight.”

“The Nineties weren’t all bad.” Ben shrugs off his jacket and tosses it on the kitchen table, kicks aside his shoes, lays his phone face-down on the counter as if he’s just decided to stay. Then he comes to you.

“Well we know I'm going away

And how I wish, I wish it weren't so

So take this wine and drink with me

And let's delay our misery.”

There’s no questioning whether you’re going to let him touch you; there’s no question at all. The thought of not being with him is agonizing, cavernous, unbearable. You’ve never wanted someone like this. You’ve never wanted anything like this.

Ben cups your face in his hands and kisses you like he’s coming up for air, like you’re a high he’ll never get enough of. He tastes like cognac and whiskey and cigarettes and lust. Your back hits the refrigerator, and your magnets pop off and clatter against the tile floor; your fingers are knotting through his hair as his trace a path beneath your blouse. He asks if you’re okay—not with his voice but with his searching eyes—and you nod a desperate yes, yes, yes. Outside the stars are raging through the blackness, those same stars that lit up the sky above the dinosaurs just a few blinks of their immortal lifespans ago.

“Save tonight and fight the break of dawn,

Come tomorrow, tomorrow I'll be gone...”

“Oh shit...” Ben’s patting his pockets, flipping through his wallet. His eyes are wide and frantic. “I don’t have a condom.”

“I’m on the pill,” you tell him. “Wait, I’m sorry, you’re an actor, you probably get psychos trying to have your babies all the time, I totally understand if you don’t trust me—”

“I trust you,” he breathes, as if he’s just realizing it.

“I trust you too, Ben.”

“Don’t say it,” he whispers, almost pleads. “You don’t know me.”

“I do,” you insist, unbuttoning his shirt, lifting all that separates you away, peeling back secrets like layers of the earth.

#ben jones #ben hardy #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy fic #borhap imagine #borhap fic #bohemian rhapsody #bywmpf #baby you were my picket fence #gwilym lee #joe mazzello

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cardest · 4 years ago

Text

Switzerland playlist

I have unleashed my inner Swissy for my Swiss playlist and have gone totally cuckoo!

No trip to Switzerland is complete without this epic Swiss playlist I have put together. I was there in 2007 and 2016 and last time, by train and by car, I had this (earlier version) playlist on the whole time as I travelled the beautiful country. You can too! This will make you want to stand on top of Glacier 3000 and blow an alpine horn to get Tom G Warrior’s attention! So, come meet me at the Cabaret Voltaire in Zurich and watch me yodel when the cuckoo clock strikes 2am!

001 Samael - Us 002 Kraftwerk - Trans-Europe Express 003 Yodel Fest - Der Volksmusik Stimmungs Hit-Mix - Folge 2 004 The Young Gods - Strangel 005 Marilena - A Lausbua muss er sei 006 Celtic Frost - Jewel throne 007 Eluveitie - Omnos 008 ZEAL & ARDOR - Wake of a Nation 009 Lanlertrio - Nidwaldner - buebe 010 Coroner - Die By My Hand 011 Die ae ein Lied fabcr dich 012 The Andrews Sisters - Toolie Oolie Doolie (Yodel Polka) 013 Abinchova - Vom nen Grund 014 Clutch - Unto The Breach 015 Oesch's die Dritten - Ku-Ku-Jodel 016 Del Shannon - Swiss Maid 017 Wendy Carlos - William Tell Overture, Abridged 018 Lou Sern - Swiss Boy 019 Schottisch von Trio Eugster 020 Messiah- Extreme Cold Weather 021 Carnal Decay - When Push Comes to Shove 022 The Agonist - Revenge Of The Dadaists 023 From Russia With Love - Opening Titles 024 GOTTHARD - Anytime Anywhere 025 Einstürzende Neubauten - Unvollständigkeit 026 Grand Magus - Mountains Be My Throne 027 Folterkammer 'Die Nänie 028 Trio Alpin - Die Berg haban an Gipfl 029 Celtic Frost - Dethroned Emperor 030 Eluveitie - Thousandfold 031 Elis - Des Lebens Traum - Des Traumes Leben 032 Argelifra - Stockenfluh 033 Basil Poledouris - Mountain Of Power Procession 034 Coroner - The Lethargic Age 035 Bruno Spoerri - On The Way 036 Erben der Schapfung - Niemand Kennt Den Tod 037 Ernst Karel - Scuol-Motta Naluns 038 The Young Gods - Kissing The Sun 039 David Bowie - Modern Love 040 Celtic Frost - Inner Sanctum 041 Magma - Da Zeuhl wortz Mekanik 042 Krokus - Eat The Rich 043 Zeal and Ardor - Bellator Halli Rha 044 Nàda -- Body 045 Kiz - Die Sennerin vom Kalnigssee 046 Echo vom Kinzig - Uf em Eggbargli (Schottisch) 047 Eluveitie - The Call of the Mountains 048 Brian Eno & John Cale - Footsteps (Wrong Way Up) 049 The Last Bison - Switzerland 050 Coroner - Caveat (To The Coming) 051 Nidwaldner Buebe - Im Urnerlndli 052 Samael - Rain 053 Elis - Die stadt 054 Franzl Lang - Einen Jodler har i gern 055 Jodlerclub Wiesenberg und Francine Jordi - Die gralssten Hits 056 Cuckoo Clock - The Beach Boys 057 Alphornvereinigung Berner Oberland - Oberlander Choral 2010 058 Alten - Gabcdel 059 RAGE OF LIGHT - Mechanicals 060 Burning Witches - Black Widow 061 Prince and The Revolution - Mountains 062 Im Paschtli z Appezall 063 Liliput - Die Matrosen 064 Matterhorn _ The Country Gentlrmen 065 Uf em Rossstock (Landler _ Walzer) 066 Sevendust - Mountain 067 Coroner - Masked Jackal 068 Angela Wiedl Melanie Oesch Herlinde Lindner-Erzherzog Bravourjodler 069 Bolzer - The Archer of Lauterbrunnen 070 ZATOKREV - Bleeding Island 071 The Young Gods _ Skinflowers (1992) 072 Martin SchaBCtz Hesch Hasch Hasch Schottisch 073 Killing Joke - Rapture 074 Russian Circles - Geneva 075 Cronian - The Alp 076 Adrian von Ziegler - Celtic lore 077 Dethklok - Fansong 078 Panopticon - Where Mountains Pierce the Sky 079 Kraftwerk - Tour De France Etape 3 080 Celtic Frost - Dawn of Meggido 081 The Young Gods - Lucidogen 082 Oesch's die Dritten - Swiss-Girl 083 Arctic Sleep - Geneva 084 Deep Purple - Smoke on the Water 085 Aliens Soundtrack - Face Huggers (OST) 086 Falco - Auf der Flucht 087 Darkthrone - Alp Man 088 E-L-R - Ambrosia 089 Messiah - Hyper Borea 090 Krokus - Midnite Maniac 091 Led Zeppelin - Bonzo's Montreux 092 Exodus - Count your blessings 093 Killing Joke - Land Of Milk And Honey 094 Echo vom Kinzig Als a da Wande Nah 095 Scatterbrain - Swiss Army Girl 096 Lake of Tears - Upon the Highest Mountain 097 Impure Wilhelmina - Murderers 098 Sergius Golowin - Die weisse Alm [Lord Krishna von Goloka] 099 Triptykon - Tree Of Suffocating Souls 100 Brainticket - Brainticket 101 Oesch's die Dritten - Heimat 102 Ashtar - Aeolus 103 Death In June - Gorilla Tactics 104 AD INFINITUM - Live Before You Die 105 Schammasch - Provoking Spiritual Collapse 106 Anna von Hausswolff - CeMountains Crave 107 Jane's Addiction - Mountain Song 108 Darkspace - Dark 1.1 109 Richard Wagner - Cavalcata delle Valchirie 110 L'Acephale - Runenberg 111 Dakhma - Varun Of Unnatural Lust 112 Iggy Pop - Shades 113 Bruno Spoerri & Reto Weber - First Impression 114 Rorcal - X 115 Bay City Rollers - Are You Cuckoo 116 Elephant Château - Dreamings 117 Cabaret Voltaire - Kirlian Photograph 118 ØLTEN - Igelkott 119 David Bowie - Up The Hill Backwards 120 Lacrimosa - Diener Eines Geistes 121 The Staches - I don't bother 122 China - In The Middle Of The Night 123 Tenegrae Aeternum - Tenebrae Aeternum 124 Mission Of Burma - Einstein's Day 125 Faith No More - Cuckoo for Caca 126 Alice Cooper - DaDa 127 Beto Eliezer - Marie d'Agoult 128 Hellhammer - Third of the Storms (Evoked Damnation) 129 Killing Joke - Night Time 130 Simple minds - I Travel 131 Eluveitie - Luxtos 132 Alastis - In Darkness 133 Coroner - Internal Conflicts 134 Pepe Lienhard Band - Swiss Lady 135 Brian Eno - Kurt's rejoinder 136 Megaton Sword - Wastrels 137 Cabaret Voltaire - Exhaust 138 Buzzcocks - Whatever happened to... 139 Einsturzende Neubauten - Let's do it Dada 140 Samael - Slavocracy 666 The Young Gods - Cest Quoi Cest Ca

What song or band have I missed? Let me know!

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couldnt-think-of-a-funny-name · 6 years ago

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About your YouTuber! Percy hc, do you think he would actually know everyone subscribed to him because of the weird background shenanigans or do you think that he’s think they all just find him funny?

okay, I actually have made some more Executive Decisions since I posted that, so let’s just make it clear that:

Percy spent maybe half a day thinking ‘wow I knew I was valid in thinking my girlfriend and sister deserve to be famous’ just because he genuinely hadn’t registered the monster-sized dog or nico crawling out from the shadows behind him as ‘weird’ at first, but then he started reading the comments and was like…..ah,

Annabeth wanted him to immediately delete the videos but he was just like ‘nah it’s too late now we might as well commit’ and started planning his next video lmao. he still didn’t think it was gonna get like, Big tho

demigods and technology don’t mix this is true but by this time the Hephaestus and Athena AND Vulcan kids were all very disgruntled by this and collabed on making a line of products that are monster proof, halfblood suitable, and Hephaestus approved. Percy is using a camera in this line, and that’s why mortals watching his videos aren’t getting blocked by the mist, because….shut up, I said so lol

so again, his videos are mostly tame except for just a few small ‘wtf’ things happening in the background, but it’s enough to get people circulating his videos like ‘hey what the fuck is going on with this guy’ and he gets more and more followers impatiently waiting for updates

after about five months, and article gets posted on buzzfeed about the videos, listing a few theories like, a) it’s photoshopped and cgi-d, although they claim they sent a few clips to video analysists that can’t find any thing fake, and b) this boy is being terrorized by ghosts and demons and he just hasn’t noticed them on camera for some fucking reason, and c) Maybe Us, The Viewers Are The Crazy Ones and d) He’s In Danger And Sending Coded Messages And We Need To Rally Together To Help Him

it trends and his followers SPIKE so Percy decides he should probably do a Q&A and everyone gets hype

except

it’s Percy

He’s sitting on his bed in an orange shirt, but the writing on it is mostly obscured by a blanket. You can JUST see the tip of a spear on the wall above him. There’s a large cut on the side of his head. He’s got a clear glass of some golden liquid he’s sipping from every now and then. There’s an aquarium on the table next to him, but all the fish in the tank are huddled in the same side, staring at him??? Annabeth is sitting next to him, but she’s not looking into the camera, she’s reading a book, and you can see the cover clearly on screen but no one is able to figure out what language it’s in??? at one point during the video, you hear a horse neighing even though he’s in his fourth floor city apartment and his stepfather comes in to tell him ‘blackjack’s in the kitchen make him leave’

but other than that, everyone tuned into this video excited to get answers….but all the answers Percy gives are like ‘Oh, Estelle is 10 months old! she’s getting so big!’ and ‘Annabeth and I met when we were 12′ and ‘I’m looking at colleges in California but I haven’t committed anywhere yet’ and ‘my favorite subject in school is math’

In the middle of the video he read a question ‘please what is up with that dude that keeps crawling out of your fucking walls p l e ase’ and he responds ‘Oh! That’s my cousin Nico! :)’ and then moves back to the tame boring questions sdkjnckdvm

The very last minute of the video, he reads a question asking if he’s possessed and he’s like ‘No, not anymore’ and Annabeth fucking snorts, the first acknowledgement she’s given the whole q&a. the video immediately just ends there, he doesn’t do a sign off or anything

people FLIP

and the next day he’s just back to posting his usual content. this time features a shot of him walking in a rainstorm, to hood no umbrella, completely fucking dry

youtube drama channels are covering every single video he posts. conspiracy theorists are going fucking wild.

one of these youtube conspiracy channels is 100% run by Leo Valdez. He’s having the time of his goddamn life throwing bullshit out there

Piper McLean 100% has her own channel dedicated to debunking everything Leo says on his channel. They’ve been doing this dance since 9th grade and all of their viewers think they fucking hate each other it’s hilarious to them

so SHE points out that not only are Leo’s theories stupid, but he’s been spotted in Percy’s videos! And he was on fire in one of them! Hello???

Someone then tweets her that SHE’S been spotted in Percy’s videos, a few of them the same ones Leo was in, and she responds to the callout with a Mariah Carey gif and goes silent on twitter for three months

Leo starts insisting that’s Definitely Not Him In Percy’s Videos, Thank You, How Dare You Accuse Me Associating With Not Only The Demonic Forces That Follow Him But Also Piper McLean

Percy tweets out a picture of the 7, featuring Leo and Piper hugging and looking like best friends. Leo responds with a Joanne the Scammer gif and also goes quiet on twitter but keeps making ridiculous conspiracy videos lmao

On screen: ‘Hey, Paul, the internet thinks I’m in league with supernatural forces. What do you think about that?’ *camera slowly zooms in on Paul’s tired face as he looks up from reading a book on the Greek god Poseidon*

everyone realizes one of Percy’s mortal friends from school is also a youtuber so they BOMBARD him and he’s just like ‘Listen Percy just….fucking lives like this. he’s not planning anything. He disappears all the time and comes back covered in burns. one time I went in his apartment without calling first and he met me in the living room with a shield and a sword. Sometimes carriage horses in the city get loose and just follow him around and he holds conversations with them. I think his dad is in the mob. He just lives like this. We just got used to it’ sjkdgkjldsklsd

Percy posts a video called ‘skateboarding down my camps climbing wall!!’ and every comment is ‘WHY IS THERE L A V A?!?!?!?!?’

A video where he sees just How Much he can annoy Chiron and Mr. D before he gets threatened with dolphin-ism. It doesn’t take long, but everyone ignores the guy with glowing eyes yelling about how he’s going to change him into a sea creature in favor of focusing in on the fucking leopard head mounted on the wall that’s moving, roaring and being fed snacks???

Rachel goes into Oracle mode and gives out a prophecy in the middle of a live stream and Percy just sighs in annoyance while all the viewers are flipping out like hello isn’t she one of the richest people in the world???

the viewers start trying to decipher the prophecy like they think it’s all planned and Percy’s just slowly dropping some lemony snickett bullshit on them

his videos are ALWAYS trending and he’s one of the most popular vloggers and it’s so funny because 90% of the videos are literally just ‘taking my sister to the park!’ ‘date night with my girlfriend!’ ‘swim team awards ceremony!’ ‘I forgot to study for my history exam!’ like just. the most fucking generic but people are sucked in lmao

He does monthly q&a’s but they mostly go the same way the original one did

‘what’s with the fucking guy who’s half donkey???’ ‘Grover identifies as a goat, actually, please be respectful of that in the future’

‘who’s that fucking kid that crying on your couch that you ignored the whole video’ ‘that’s actually the Greek god Apollo, he was upset because I wanted back the Led Zeppelin shirt he stole from me’

‘am I crazy or was there a 7 foot tall guy with one eye walking around the kitchen eating peanut butter out of the jar’ ‘that’s my baby brother Tyson :)’

‘your friend said your dad’s in the mob but we’ve never seen your father on this channel where is he???’ ‘he, uh…….lives with the fishes?’ (Annabeth groaned at that one lmao)

‘you really vlogged getting struck by lightning and not going to the fucking hospital, huh’ ‘don’t worry, that was just my cousin, she was mad because I stole her nail polish earlier but she wouldn’t kill me over it’

COULD YOU IMAGINE HIM POSTING A VIDEO WITH THE PARTY PONIES AND TITLING IT ‘I ACCIDENTALLY GOT DRAGGED TO FURRY CON’

but overall: Youtuber Percy™ is, in fact, the only valid thing that exists thanks for coming to my TED Talk

#percy jackson #pjo #hoo #toa #rick riordan #asks #molly mumbles

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